Pandemic Possibilities

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Boy 2020 has been intense! Moving states, squatting at different family and friend’s homes, hitting my breaking point, breakup , purchasing a home and 1 final move from 4 different spaces… also can’t forget about a pandemic, civil injustice and protests+riots.

A lot has happened in our country and worldwide in the past 3 months. This post is about what has been happening in my world for the last 6 months. I have had lots of personal transitions that I wanted to update you on.

I’m so grateful to be back home in Indiana! My time in Tennessee was really difficult as I ended up having severe allergies to my new environment. My year in Nashville lead to 7 doctor visits, lots of different prescriptions and 100 plus needle pricks in allergy testing. Only option left was to attempt shots that would take 2-5 years to build up my system for relief. My eyes would swell shut after 2 weeks, which as you can imagine it presented issues. I would drive back home to IN after 1-1.5 weeks in Nashville to heal then head back and repeat.

Fortunately I was able to stay with my company and take over a new territory starting in April. I finalized my travel in Tennessee in early March when COVID started to get more serious.

From my Tennessee travels I then flew out to San Diego, CA. While in CA announcements of businesses closing due to COVID began and I changed flights to return sooner for fear of being stuck in CA. When returning, my forced quarantine ended up being an eye opening blessing that lead to so many possibilities!

I did hit my absolute lowest point, which you can either stay down or pull yourself back up. I have God on my side and he showed me so many back to back blessings and I’m so grateful.

God’s 1st blessing was to present me with Ally Vaeth’s ElevateU Bootcamp challenge which was a great insight to her program. I am now in her ElevateU program and learning so much about Mind, Body and Spirit! Another post dedicated to this topic to follow!

My next blessing was timing. I have been looking at houses and they kept selling prior to arriving to the showing. A house in the area I had been looking posted at 10:00pm on a Friday at the end of March and I had an offer on it before Midnight. I made the decision to offer based on the images posted on Zillow (no idea of the floor plan), advice from my realtor and faith that my prayer were answered. I did get to see the house the next morning and I updated my offer in hopes to secure it! My quick judgment worked in my favor because they chose my offer, even though they had multiple offers. Next blessing was no bid war !

During the time of waiting to close on my house my Aunt randomly text me (another God blessing) offering to stay at the cabin since the numbers in Marion county for COVID were spiking. She was giving me an option to help stay healthy, but she really gave me a chance to reclaim inner peace. The cabin is my happy place that makes me feel calm and grounded.

During the pandemic God created so many possibilities for me. I am now a homeowner again, working on my mental , spiritual and physical health, growing my Mary Kay business and back in a territory I love for my job. I am grateful!

XOXO,

Cecee

*This post is not intended to dismiss the magnitude of the pandemic. I truly feel for those who have been impacted. I have deeply missed my family and friends . I am beyond grateful for my health, as well as for those who I hold dear. I am choosing to reflect on the positives that occurred during these unusual times.

2020, A Come Back Year

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A new year, new decade and new goals, but first let’s reflect on 2019 goals.

Health: I failed in this category on the frequency, but did journal on occasion.

  • I plan on journaling at least weekly. I will be focusing on my thoughts and feelings to continuously grow.

Mental: I feel I succeeded in this category and was validated with being recognized as 2019 underwriter of the year by one of my agencies. 

  • Learn a new territory and new system at work

Spirit: This was a half win as I did read my daily devotional, but I didn’t travel to a new state this year.

  • Read a page a day of 365 Moments of Peace for a Woman’s Heart
  • Travel to 1 new state and possibly another country

My goal for 2020 is still broken down by categories, but I am adding a new spin to goal setting. I am going to add 3 things I want to do more of in 2020 and 3 things to do less as well as creating a theme for the year.

My 2020 Theme: Come Back: recover from a deficit.

The last 2 years I have felt that I have been going backwards. I thought my life was on the right path to achieving my goals. I had the perfect wedding, house, job, financial security and was preparing to start a family and in a blink of an eye it all starts slipping away.

I want 2020 to be my come back year and my goals for the year are:

Health:

  • Increase my water intake to 8 glasses a day. I am really lacking on my hydration skills lately.
  • Reduce my junk food intake. I have gotten in a bad habit of chocolates, chips and fast food.

Mental:

  • Increase my business skills with monthly business development courses, books or coaching calls.
  • Reduce sacrificing my own physical, mental, and emotional health to please others.

Spirit:

  • Increase my God time with at least 30 mins a day for daily devotions, readings and prayers.
  • Reduce negative self talk. Apply what Kristin Sharpe mentioned at Linda Toupin’s finale. When a negative thought arises say out loud, Stop! Be Gone.

Happy New Year!

XOXO,

Cecee

A Decade of Love, Loss and Lessons

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This decade has been filled with change, pain, joy and so much growth.

In this decade I graduated from college, moved 8 times, bought and sold my first home, married and divorced, got my fur baby, a few job changes, started my blog and Mary Kay business, lots of travel, many new friendships and said goodbye to some loved ones.

Several things didn’t turn out like I had planned, yet some turned out better than imagined . The good and the bad are all part of God’s plan.

Highlights from this past decade:

Several beautiful weddings and celebrations filled with love!

Love and marriage led to lots of precious babies… seriously my friends make some cute kids!

Moved 8 times Terre Haute -French Lick- Medina- Richmond-Indy apartment- First Home in Indy- Fishers- Nashville

I played hostess with the mostest

I was a jet setter to 3 countries and 29 states! Total state count is 33 with the goal of 50 by 50.

Blessed with inspiring, strong, loving and supportive women #squad

Lessons – graduation to real world, dog mom, exploring new cities, golfing, fishing with an open face reel, fitness, overcoming obstacles, welcoming new experiences, and being grateful for every moment with my loved ones.

Began my Mary Kay business and started to regain my confidence

Overall top 3 lessons:

  1. Put it in God’s hands
  2. Show grace, gratitude and kindness towards yourself and others
  3. BOUNDARIES

Cheers to the decade that shaped me.

I’m looking forward to a bright future full of love , grace and gratitude!

Happy New Year!

XOXO,

Cecee

Honor

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With Veterans Day around the corner most people will pay tribute by honoring those who have served our country.

Have you ever thought about honor and what it means ? Until today I hadn’t really thought about the true extent. Today’s sermon at church was about honor. Honor means high respect; great esteem.

Do you honor your nation and veterans regularly? Do you honor your parents? Do you honor God?

The congregation received army men today as a reminder to pray for our nation and those who have served and still currently serve. I’m so grateful for the freedoms and blessings I have due to those who protect our nation. Thank you Veterans! I’m keeping this army man in my car as a simple reminder of gratitude along with a prayer reminder. Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord. Psalms 33:12

The Bible says honor thy mother and thy father. Kids don’t always honor their parents request. Can you imagine how much easier things would be if they did? As I get older I understand what that fully means. I am sorry to my mom and dad for the battles as I was growing up, but I’m grateful for their parenting. The expectations to follow God’s word, of honoring your parents created a strong sense of respect for them and authority figures. I think the value of respect that was instilled in me is a big driver in respecting myself and pushing to be the best person I can be.

A great question asked today was “how can you honor God?” This is a personal question for you, but how I’m choosing to honor him is by sharing my love and amazement of his work.

God has blessed me with some pretty amazing people in my life, who have helped me see his messages. I’m so grateful to have those who can help me grow in my faith. I hope God works through me to touch the hearts of others .

XOXO,

Cecee

Oh there she is…

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If you’ve been following along for the past 2 years you know my life has been filled with new challenges. Some of these challenges stretched me to grow and others, I unfortunately allowed them to break me. Through this wilderness season of many meltdowns I felt like I lost myself. I reflected that in my writing and eventually stopped adding to my blog as I didn’t want the gloom to overrun it. Luckily one of those gloom articles did spark something impactful. My dear friend Jessica saw my need and sent me a copy of Wilderness Skills for Women. I highly recommend this book if you are struggling with yourself and your faith.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0805446702?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

My blog began as a creative way to help me through the gloom. My blog is my way of sharing with others that they are not alone in the ups and downs of life. I do believe mindset plays a big role on working through the lows. I had to get my mindset right in order to regain confidence in myself.

I’m so excited to share that I am finally seeing glimpses of myself again. The sides of me that I missed. The woman who wants to connect with the world and as many people as possible. The woman who wants to leave a positive impact and leave you smiling. The woman that is confident in who she is.

How did I get to this point? First I recognized with the help of loved ones that I needed to find something that would bring the qualities I missed back out.

What I found was an opportunity to connect with other women by helping them feel more confident. I have also connected with many beautiful souls that are helping me grow in my faith and business. I’m doing all this by becoming a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant.

Mary Kay is based on God/Faith first, family second and career third. I am so excited to share all the wonderful products that I love, connect with amazing women, strengthen my faith and grow my business!

If you are in the thick of your wilderness season know that it will not last forever!

XOXO,

Cecee

Mental Health Awareness

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If you have been following along, you know one of my 2019 goals is to focus on my mental health. May is mental health awareness month and I have some insight to share. I have been more aware of my feelings and those around me and I want to break my silence.

Life is hard and impacts everyone in a different way. The financial burdens, lack of work-life balance, poor health of yourself or loved ones, the negative noise from others tearing you down, postpartum depression/anxiety, grief and internal battles are very real and all around you.

Above examples are just some of the impacts I have witnessed occur in my circle or endured myself. I know there are more challenges that others have faced and some so severe I could not imagine the pain.

My pain is internal and I am still learning how to adjust my mindset to accept myself and where I am in life.

I come from a strong support system full of love and I am beyond grateful for that. Sometimes your support system is not enough and you need outside help and that’s ok. I highly encourage seeking guidance either through a therapist and/ or minister. My sophomore year of college was the first time I went to see a therapist and really began my journey of understanding myself.

I currently feel like I am starting from scratch trying to rediscover myself. In reflection I have been so driven to hit timeline marks that I missed the point in checking off the boxes and still feel like a failure.

Unfortunately, there have been a couple points in my life where I have let others tear me down through their coercive control. Learning it is impossible to rationalize with an irrational person was an eye opener. That realization took me a long time to understand it was not a failure on my part. Making multiple efforts to try to meet the needs of someone who is projecting was wasted efforts.

Learning to love myself while battling the feeling that I’m unworthy of love, due to being a failure is a major challenge. I wish I could go back to the time in my life where I was fearless and always saw the positive. Getting back to that person is so hard after hearing so much negativity for so long.

I am currently aware of my negative self talk and I am struggling with how to turn it off. In my last post I shared how uncomfortable I am and it makes me feel like a failure. I’m trying to cheer myself on for the small victories and not focus on the set backs. The set backs are how I derail and staying in them causes me to crumble.

BE KIND to everyone, you do not know what they are battling.

Also any tips on blocking the negative self talk are appreciated!

XOXO,

Cecee

Uncomfortable

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Have you ever been so uncomfortable that you felt like your life was spiraling out of control? Well, that is how I have been feeling for a few months now and the impact is not good.

My reality check today was being told “stop being so negative, it is not a good look on you”. The comment honestly made me a little mad at first due to the billion things on my mind that has impacted me, but then I opened my eyes.

My move and experience has not gone as expected.  I have been faced with far more challenges than I could have ever anticipated. I have flipped my life upside down and basically ever aspect of my life has changed. I am very uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable is scary and hard, which has lead to far too many complaints and self doubt.

I realize I need to lift myself up, face challenges one day at a time and lean on my support system. My support system is the only aspect of my life that has not changed. Currently I have only been able to find comfort in my support system and daily devotions. I pray that I soon find comfort in my job and new environment.

My last post I mentioned my health goal this year is focusing on my mental health.  A big part of what I have been focusing on is self awareness along with reflection. Being self aware can be hard and having loved ones point out the truth to me has been a blessing.

Recognize the blessings in your life and embrace uncomfortable change. I know I am going through this for a reason, even though that reason is not clear yet.

Proverbs 3:5-6

XOXO,

Cecee

 

New Year, New Goals, New City

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I introduced you to my mindset of goals vs resolutions in my 2018 Goals post.

Before I share my new 2019 goals I will update you on how I did in 2018.

My 2018 goals are listed below:

Health Goals:

  • Minimum of 60 minutes of cardio each week: Completed for majority of the year and fell off track towards the end of the year
  • Strive for 7-9 hours of sleep each night: I didn’t do a good job tracking, but feel I may have averaged closer to 6 hours a night. 

Mind Goals:

  • Read and learn more about blogging: I joined Indy Blog Society and met up with an Indy blogger to learn more .

Spirit Goals:

  • Visit 2 new states: Visited San Diego, CA in January and road tripped through OK in December.
  • Quarterly try something new that is outside of my comfort zone : First Quarter tried Thai food, 2nd quarter learned how to fish with open face fishing reel, 3rd quarter learned how to back a boat trailer and 4th quarter sold my first house. 

I have a lot of change happening in 2019. I have big news…. I am moving to Nashville, TN.

I will be relocating for my company to handle the middle Tennessee territory. I know the opportunity for my career is great, but I am still sad to say goodbye to my loved ones in Indianapolis.

My goals for 2019 will be focused on my mental and emotional health. I struggled a lot in 2018 in these areas and expect more struggle with all the upcoming change.

Health:

  • I plan on journaling at least weekly. I will be focusing on my thoughts and feelings to continuously grow.

Mental:

  • Learn a new territory and new system at work

Spirit:

  • Read a page a day of 365 Moments of Peace for a Woman’s Heart
  • Travel to 1 new state and possibly another country

Proverbs 3:5

Onto the next adventure…

XOXO,

Cecee

 

Thank you, Next …2018 recap

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2018 … I can go on about all the struggles and challenges you hit me with. Challenges that caused me to feel so broken, but I will just say Thank You, Next.

It’s ok to be broken and sometimes some of the pieces are so broken they will never be fully restored to what they once were. Now I can pick up all the pieces and rebuild into something new.

2018 also had some beautiful highlights that I’m very grateful.

In January, I turned 30 and celebrated in a big way with friends locally then off to Cali!

February was low key, so low key that I hardly have any photos from the month. I did enjoy a Valentines dinner with my friend Laura and Indy Taco week with Ben and Elizabeth.

March, I started back on track with counting Macros, played in the snow, joined friends in a St.Patrick’s Day pub crawl, and hosted my family for Easter.

April was my favorite month of travel! I went to a Stanley Cup playoff game, Austin, TX and Virginia. I spent a lot of time with friends.

April was also very scary as a lump was found on my breast during my annual exam. At 30 years old, I had to go in for a mammogram to determine if I had breast cancer. Thankfully, I am ok and must continue to monitor. I urge all to be diligent about their health.

In May, I traveled to Vegas for Kristi’s bachelorette party, met my friend’s little boy, enjoyed time around the pool and planted a garden.

June was Wine Fest, fishing for Father’s Day, and Indy Pride.

July I did a fun 4th of July photo shoot for a blog, hosted a brunch pool party, attended my cousin’s bridal shower, went on a girls trip to French Lick then onto Nashville,TN and the biggest challenge was when I backed a boat trailer and learned how to fish with an open face reel 😊.

August was a lot of working on the house as I decided I wanted to put it on the market in September. I played in my ladies golf league all summer along with an outing for work. Lots of pool days, a date night, kept grinding in the gym and cheered on Kevin as he and his partner won their division at CrossFit Summer Bash . I am beyond grateful for the time and help my family and Kevin provided in order to get the house ready. I basically was a regular at Lowe’s all month.

September was a whirlwind hosting my last Labor Day pool party at the house, listing the house, lake life, traveling for work meetings, MI vacation, Candlelight Tour, and cousin’s wedding.

September also began the next series of health issues and vet ER visits for Pippa.

October I accepted and offer on my house, said bye to my blonde locks, had a packing party and passed out candy on Halloween for the last time at my home on Wawasee Court.

In November, Pippa and I said our final goodbye to our home on Wawasee Court and moved in with a friend in Fishers. I then had more work travels and met Barbara Bush! I traveled back home for the Christmas tree lighting at West Baden Resort and Thanksgiving.

In December, Jessica and I decked the halls and hosted a cookie exchange, I made a Christmas card, I traveled to Austin to help Annie pack as well as celebrate her 30th, work trip to Nashville, Christmas celebrations and then a trip to Wilstem Guest Ranch.

2018, I thank you for the beautiful moments and the lessons.

Now 2019, I know you are full of growth potential, but please don’t be as stressful.

XOXO,

Cecee

Where the hell is the carousel?

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I feel like the last 2 years of my life I have been on a roller coaster and I’m desperately seeking a carousel.

It’s funny that I’m trying to find some consistency in life to cling to, but the only constant is change.

I have had a ton of change with divorce, selling my house , the ups and downs of dating, changes at work and several other challenges. Life keeps hitting me with more twist and turns.

I know that I would quickly be bored on a carousel of consistency in all aspects of life, but there are some areas I feel I need it. I’m realizing the carousel I need is knowing myself and what I can expect from how I treat myself and how I allow others to treat me.

Life is a roller coaster there is no way to predict the ups, downs, twist and turns in life. All you can do is buckle up, hold on and follow the track.

XOXO,

Cecee