Oh Cecilia 

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You’re breaking my heart you’re shaking my confidence daily…

Great song that I often hear and the words “shaking my confidence daily” stand out. I know what I’m about to discuss has nothing to do with what the song is actually about, but it’s so fitting.

This week we celebrated International Women’s Day. My social media was flooded with positive love for fellow women while my personal inbox was attacked. This had me reflect on all the times that by simply being me, I had shaken someone’s confidence.

In high school, there is always drama. For some, that dramatic mindset never goes away. Most of the high school drama is petty and based on feelings due to poor communication, disrespect and misguided finger pointing, or possibly hormones 🤷🏼‍♀️.

As we become adults we learn to respect others from differing backgrounds and mindsets creating the opportunity to grow and learn. Sadly some are not so accepting and you can easily shake their confidence.

Then there are times in your career when based on your age and tenure with a company “you are not supposed to have that position yet, you didn’t slowly move up the ranks”.

I am Cecilia. My own confidence has shaken the confidence of others, both male and female.

I often reflect on the experiences that have shaped me and the tough, negative experiences have made me strong, resilient and overly ambitious. Those tough moments and feelings I do not wish on anyone.

The moments of love, respect , compassion and support shaped me as well and frankly those moments are the most cherished.

Showing respect and compassion while someone is yelling at you and calling you horrible names is beyond difficult, and yes, sometimes I’ve failed and snapped back. Taking the high road can be a challenge, but will provide you more peace than fighting back. I have continuously learned you cannot rationalize with the irrational, no matter the effort you put in.

Having a positive mindset, staying calm in difficult situations and not letting someone shake your confidence is hard. Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, the only thing you can control is how you react.

Life is tough and everyone has their challenges, but showing respect and compassion can make a big difference. The difference may not be how the other person handles the situation, but may just provide peace for yourself knowing you were the bigger person.

XOXO,

Cecee

 

Intentional, Incredible, Inspired…

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This past weekend I attended the Arnold Sports Festival for the 2nd year in a row. This year just like last I gained more than just free products and samples. Being around all the athletes and fitness enthusiasts I am always inspired not only by their physique, but by their mental game and dedication.

Most people look at these athletes and only see their physique and physical strength, but do not understand how intentional they must make each day. These athletes have so much dedication to stay focused on strict meal and workout plans. The plans they follow are down to a science and very structured.

Life is hectic and one can easily fall off track without a strong mental game. As of late my head has not been in the game and motivation has been lacking. I have a decent understanding of what I need to do to get my fitness goals back on track, but need the push!

Last time I fell off track I needed to fit into a dress for a wedding… sadly enough I am in the same boat again a year and a half later. In 2016 I worked with my girl, Ally Vaeth  to fit in a dress for a NYE wedding. Following a meal plan through Thanksgiving and Christmas was tough, but necessary to hit my goal. With the help of Ally and dedication to the plan she created I was able to fit in my dress below!

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I have reached out to Ally again to help me get back on track and hopefully remain consistent in the future.  Ally is so detailed in her plan and genuinely cares about your success. When we met to go over how this program would be set up she made a comment about being intentional each day. This really stayed with me as the days I don’t have a plan are the days I easily skip the gym and have fast food. My schedule is different everyday and changes each week, so a set routine is hard to develop. I need to intentionally include my fitness and meal plans in my weekly to do list.

My before pictures this time around are so embarrassing for me and I am not ready to share until some progress is made. Stay tuned as Ally helps kick my butt back in shape!

Here is the goal dress I bought in September (pic is from September) and sadly have gained 10 lbs since. Operation fit in dress in process!

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XOXO,

Cecee

 

Dating Game

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I am sure by now you have heard the term ghosting, but do you know about breadcrumbing, cushioning, and love bombing?

I first learned of these terms when I saw this article 5 Signs That He’s Just Not That Into You . I feel like the actions have always been around and now with online dating the terms are just being changed or some actually defined. For example, breadcrumbing I would say is leading someone on and cushioning is having someone on the back burner. I have no experience with love bombing, so you can read the description on it in the link above.

In my short time back in the dating game I had said I didn’t want to intentionally ghost anyone as I felt it is disrespectful. Sadly I now realize that I didn’t ghost, but I did do some breadcrumbing. I was guilty of replying and never fully committing to any plans as it was easier to leave the door open. Breadcrumbing can also lead to cushioning in having the foot in the door until someone better comes along or in case the current person is no longer a fit.

The world of swiping makes both breadcrumbing and cushioning easy to do since there are so many options. Dating Apps are exhausting and time consuming.  I got to the point of having a note typed up with typical bio info, fun facts and standard questions that I could copy and paste into messages.  I did this to be efficient as I don’t like duplicate work and I am terrible at remembering who I tell what to. Ask my friends and family, they get stories on repeat as I can’t remember if I told them or not. This tactic is efficient, but not personal nor fair.

In dating it is so easy to get your hopes up and overanalyze every conversation and situation. Over Analyzing will drive you crazy and most likely make you insecure, I know the impact. The important thing to remember is to take someone at face value vs trying to read between the lines. Every personality is different and some are harder to read than others, which is why reading the person shouldn’t be occurring.  If you feel safe around the person and you enjoy each others company over time the key qualities will reveal themselves.  These characteristics will determine if there is a level of comfort that exist or can develop with that person. To determine comfort both people have to be themselves versus the perception they want to present.

Fully opening up and being yourself in front of a stranger is scary since you have to be so vulnerable. The dating game struggle is deciding at what point is it safe to show those vulnerabilities to fully get to know someone and let them know you? If someone wants to spend time with you they will make an effort to plan time together and if they want to get to know you they will ask questions along with sharing aspects of their life.

Dating is hard, fun and scary all at the same time. We date to meet new people and hopefully find a partner in life, at least that should be the ultimate goal. Those out there trying to date please know that ghosting is disrespectful and breadcrumbing/ cushioning can be very hurtful. I understand how it can happen so easily as I have done the same thing, but transparency goes a long way! I’ve taken a hiatus from the dating app game, but going forward will be aware and not play the games mentioned above.

Date respectfully!

XOXO,

Cecee

From We to Me to Swiping

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Since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day I thought sharing about the crazy dating world was fitting. So dating apps… Tinder, Bumble, Hinge etc did not exist the last time I was single,  practically 7years ago 😳 . Dating apps have changed the dating game and it is mind-boggling!

I know there are people out there who have found their soulmates on these types of apps, but based on my experiences so far those people must be so patient.

If you ever had those thoughts of wondering what you missed out on with the dating apps or you are looking to live through your single friends, here are a few stories as to why it is mind-boggling!

The moves of guys on these apps are in extremes of unsolicited dick pics to let’s be exclusive after a week of texting ! Seriously why do you need to respond with a dick pic and the message “think you can handle it” to my question hi! How are you? Oh so you’re literally just a dick haha. 🙈

I do appreciate the ones that respond to the hi! How are you question with “look I’m just here to hook up so if you aren’t into that go ahead and unmatch”. Done, unmatched! I definitely did not indicate DTF on my profile anywhere.

I’m not looking to jump into my next relationship either! One guy after a week of texting and 1 meeting wanted to be exclusive and only invest in me if I could commit on the spot to seeing it working long term.  You do not know someone enough in a week to decide, it takes time! For me to decide I want to see someone more than just a first date is surprising and rare in this swiping world.

Another guy expected responses immediately and if no reply within the hour would send multiple question marks or say Cecee,  hello? … This is a recipe to be unmatched quickly.

Hiding behind these apps people tend to be more bold and interesting than they are in person. You can carefully orchestrate a response when behind a screen, but the truth of being compatible is in the face to face interactions.

I did have one date that after meeting him I quickly had bad vibes and feel like he would easily take advantage of someone. This is why dating safety and public spaces is key. I will have another blog post about dating safety.

I know you have heard the term of ghosting, but more common problems I have faced are breadcrumbing and cushioning.  This topic deserves its own blog post, which will follow.

I have been told about the dating game and friends have tried to give me advice on how to play the game. The truth of the matter is I hate that it is a game and I tend to live by my own rules. The hardest part about dating is blocking out the noise, listening to yourself and being vulnerable.

I will enjoy Valenwine with a Galentine tomorrow and wishing everyone else a Happy Valentine’s Day!

XOXO,

Cecee

Thirty, flirty and thriving

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Did you watch 13 going on 30 with Jennifer Garner? Early on in the movie 13 year old Jennifer (can’t recall the character name) has a famous plea to be thirty, flirty and thriving. Suddenly I am 30, embracing being flirty and thriving!

I will turn 30 this week and my life has taken a turn from what I had envisioned and that is ok. This is 30, a new decade and new adventures.

This year will be full of travel, new experiences and treating myself! I have worked hard for what I have and I am proud of my accomplishments, which is why I am taking this year to spoil and rediscover myself!

The emotional impact and hit to my self-esteem from a divorce was devastating. I needed to pull myself out of the slump. A less conventional  way to see myself in a beautiful, strong and confident way was through a boudoir photo shoot.  I have had boudoir photo shoots before, but this shoot was different. This shoot was solely for me and a start of my self discovery.

Rachel Anne  posted about a special on her  facebook page on one of the days I was really struggling and I reached out to her to book that day.  I had planned on doing a This is 30 shoot, so we went ahead with the birthday shoot even though it was August.

I knew from working with Rachel in the past that just getting my hair and make-up done by her would instantly make me feel better. Rachel was fantastic in listening to me and truly understanding my insecurities, which her images helped me see past and see myself. I saw myself for the strong, independent, confident, and beautiful soul that I am.

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Working with Rachel is empowering and uplifting. This shoot was a step towards knowing it is ok that my plan didn’t work out and I am going to be ok.  Boudoir images will help you see yourself in a fun and flirty light, which I really needed now that I am out in the scary dating world!

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The new fun plan is to celebrate my 30th birthday to the fullest! I have started by celebrating with one of my best friends/Big, who also happens to turn 30 this week! We started the kick-off of birthday week with a fun shopping spree. I really took treat yo self to heart with new clothes, makeup and an iconic piece of jewelry for an iconic birthday.

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My dad has a birthday this week as well! I missed being born on his birthday by an hour, so for the past 30 years we always celebrate our birthday together. Yesterday we celebrated our birthdays with more shopping and lunch together in Bloomington. This shopping trip Pippa made out like a bandit with new toys and treats!  We will celebrate our birthdays again this summer with a fishing trip. We are all about summer fishing vs ice fishing, which is why it is a delayed gift.

This week I am looking forward to celebrating by getting a massage, revamping my hair, lunch dates with friends, my birthday party at The Cake Bake Shop and traveling to San Diego!  Happy dirty 30 to me!

A recap of my birthday week and vacation will occur next week, so stay tuned!

XOXO,

Cecee

Meal Prep 

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IMG_0686With all the ups and downs this past year I have fallen far from my normal routine of meal prep and I am trying to get back into the swing of things. Above is a picture of my fridge when I am on my meal prep game. I reuse containers from a few of my favorite places to shop in addition to having a few other storage containers. I know there are meal prep containers out there to purchase, but it isn’t necessary.

I try to eat 5 meals a day every 3-4 hours and drink 1 gallon of water a day. To effectively lose weight I must do strength training 3 times a week and do cardio 2 times a week while I stay around 1500-1550 calories. I know this is what works for me and it is different for everyone.

Macro goals for me are: 155g Protein, 90g Carbs, 45g fat

I track my meals on my Fitness Pal, which is a free app.  This will tell you the macros for each food item.

One thing to note is I do not count the carbs in non-starch vegetables. This is just what I do from some guidance of a friend that is in the fitness world. I do not stay exact within the numbers above, but try to be close. Disclaimer, I am not a nutritionist by any means.

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Start my process with breakfast foods before moving to snacks.

My egg muffin recipe is different every time on the use of vegetables, but always same base with deli ham and the eggs and egg whites.

For 1 egg muffin it is 72 c, 12g P, 5g C, 3g F .  I will usually have 4. My first meal will be 288 calories , 48 g P, 20 g C, 12 g F.

Recipe for egg muffins:

  • 12 slices of deli ham
  • 3 egg whites
  • 3 eggs
  • 2 oz mushrooms
  • 4 medium green onions
  • 2 oz peppers
  • 1 small to medium tomato or use cherry tomatoes
  • 8 spears of asparagus
  • 1/4 c 4 cheese Mexican cheese
  • a few spinach leaves
  • salt and pepper to taste

I chop up all the veggies and put then in the ham base and add the eggs that have been seasoned to taste and top with cheese. When I serve I like to add a dash of hot sauce.

Onto snacks. I love vegetables and fruit so they are easy go to snacks for me. The morning I will usually have fruit in my 2nd meal and my 4th meal with be my vegetables and hummus.

Meal 2 : Fresh pineapple 1 Cup and half a cup of reduced fat cottage cheese. 150 cal, 11g P, 21g C , 2.5 g F.

Meal 3 : Lunch and taco bowls are my favorite! 432 Cal, 35 g P, 37g C, 15g F

Recipe for taco bowls:

  • 6 oz ground turkey
  • 1/2 brown rice- I buy frozen brown rice from Trader Joe’s that you heat in microwave
  • 4 Tbsp Salsa
  • 1/2 c sliced peppers
  • 1/4 c green onions
  • 2 tbsp of taco seasoning

I brown the ground turkey then add the taco seasoning. Once done I mix the rice that I microwaved with the ground turkey and add the other ingredients as toppings.

Meal 4: 8 oz Carrots, 1 celery stalk, 2 tbsp black bean hummus : 140 cal, 5g P, 27g C, 2g F

Peppers are chopped ahead for either snacks or use in salads and stirfrys for later in the week. I try to chop ahead any veggies I can use in other meals so it is easy to throw together a meal.

For meal 5 I try not to have any additional carbs. I will either do a veggie stir fry or a salad with protein.

Since I have so much protein left for the day with the above meals I will do a steak since it has the most protein, but it is higher in fat with roasted vegetables. 489 Cal, 50 g P, 23g C, 22 g F.

The above day totals to 1499 Calories, 149 g P, 128 g C (some are veggies I didn’t do the adjustment), 54 g F .

When life gets hectic I like having already prepped meals. My favorite meal prep company is a local company in Indy, Herculean. Their meals are affordable, provide the macros and taste fantastic! My absolute favorite meal is the pulled pork, but the BBQ salmon is a close second.  I highly recommend going into the store front as the staff is wonderful and they have a lot of great merchandise. I really like the protein donuts and ice cream!

What are some of your favorite meal prep dishes?

XOXO,

Cecee

 

Adulting is HARD

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This past week was beyond rough! They say bad things happen in 3’s and I really hope I’m good for a while on the bad. To some of you who have been adulting longer some of my lessons you probably know and are laughing at me, but for others you’re welcome.

The week started with of with getting my washer repaired after last week the guy at Home Depot giving me adjustments over the phone didn’t work. I kept thinking I am going to end up on a radio station as that crazy girl since the guy told me to turn the dial 6 times to the left, now 3 to the right, 2 to the left and now you have to slam the lid 6 times within 12 seconds… and GO! Well, that didn’t work so let’s try it again. When it still didn’t work they sent a technician out on Monday to take a look. Apparently all that silliness worked to reset the sensors, but what I wasn’t prepared for is when the technician asked me when is that last time you washed the washing machine? I laughed and said excuse me ? Is that really a thing and if so never? He informed me these newer washers should be washed once a month with an Aafresh pod and not to do another load until I washed it. Who knew?! I polled a few of my friends and they didn’t know either.  Lesson for those of you who don’t know, if you have a newer washer you must wash it to prevent clogs and tripping of sensors. 

Tuesday at 2 AM Pippa woke me up to go out, which sadly she’s been doing a lot. Well, this time she started barking and of course my yelling for her didn’t stop her from going after whatever she was chasing so I had to go get a flash light. She was running really funny at an angle and chomping weird like she had something in her mouth and thought great she’s caught something again (she has caught and killed a squirrel in the yard). When I get to her to see what she has she collapsed and started having a seizure. I didn’t have my phone to time it so I just started counting and trying to let her know I was there and as soon as it stopped I saw blood in the snow with no idea where it was coming from so I wrapped her in a towel and off to the pet hospital. This is the 2nd seizure she has had and the first occurred in October 2017. The blood was coming from her paws as she cut and bruised herself while paddling in the rocks she collapsed in, which was easy to treat. At this point the only way to determine if it is epilepsy is to rule out if there is an infection or cancer in her brain and you do that with an MRI. The estimated cost is around $2,000 and all it would be doing is giving me information. Going forward I have to monitor the seizures and time them and if the frequency and severity increase then I will look at medication. My lesson pets are expensive and I love Pippa with all my heart, but knowing when to say no to the expenses and hope for the best is tough. 

Wednesday at 2:30 AM I wake up to sharp stomach pains and end up throwing up until 5:30 AM and sleeping on the bathroom floor. I have chills, body aches , nausea and a fever of 101.8. I spent most of the day in bed and thinking I would die. Thank goodness one of my best friends is a doctor and called me to let me know what I should do and when I should try to get into a doctor. I had been trying to sweat out my fever with a heated blanket on high and tons of layers, but that wasn’t working. Lesson learned always have Tylenol on hand as it is the best to reduce a fever and keep some Gatorade on hand for hydration and nausea. 

Not the most ideal way to drop weight, but hey I’ll take the 4lbs down!

Thursday my fever was finally broke, but I still had no energy and was so tired. I slept most of the day and around 8pm finally was feeling better and decided I needed to wash my bedding and get the germs out of the house. The Aafresh pods arrived from Amazon so I washed the washer and was ready to do a load of laundry so I did. While in the other room I suddenly hear a bubbling sound and run to the laundry room to find it flooded and water coming up out of the drain in the floor. At this point I am concerned of freezing temps to come and pipes freezing. I clean up the mess, then get under the crawl space to see if I see any leaks happening and I don’t. I then take a snake to the drain which didn’t seem to do anything so my last option is calling a plumber. I get added to list for a call back the next day. As you can imagine after being in bed for 2 days this was a lot of energy exhorted and I no longer felt good so it was back to bed. Lesson here I am glad that I had a snake to try to unclog the drain myself and that my dad had taught me these lessons already. 

Friday was waiting around for a plumber that I didn’t hear from until I got frustrated and called another service who responded and was to my house within an hour. For those of you not in Indy we had TERRIBLE weather of ice and snow on Friday so the fact of me calling at 4:15 and they arrived at my house at 5 was impressive beyond measure! If you need a plumber in the Indy area I would recommend Howald as they were fantastic.  I am grateful that Austin, the technician that came out tried other methods to check for the clog vs immediately using bigger equipment, which would have added $200 to the bill! All was good and no clog and thinks perhaps the fact my washer wasn’t used for a while or the suds from the aafresh pod could have created extra foam for the drain to bubble out more, but nothing was wrong. Lesson there is supposed to be some water in that drain and I really have no worry of the drain actually freezing. Also next time I wash my washer I am not going to immediately do a load of laundry.  I now have a preferred plumber to call. 

Adulting lesson that I feel like would make life easier is keeping a list of preferred contractors with their phone numbers handy as well as any warranty numbers and dates of warranty expiration.

This week was rough, but my weekend was very productive!

Time to finish meal prep for the week, which will be the topic of my next post.

Have a great week!

XOXO,

Cecee