Stranger Danger 

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At what point are you no longer strangers? In talking to several friends who are either in the online dating world or have met their significant other online it is always interesting to hear how they have handled initial interactions with people.

Some have shared they have a rule of thumb of chatting for 2 weeks via apps, text, phone calls or FaceTime before meeting the person and based on the interaction will allow to their home.

I am a person who has watched entirely too many episodes of Criminal Minds and Law and Order SVU. Trusting a stranger to pick me up at my house, specifically just knowing where I lived was not ok with me. Anytime I would go on a first date I would only meet at a public space.

In addition to meeting at a public space I was overly cautious and sending certain friends a photo of the guy I was meeting, facts I knew about him and sharing my location on my iPhone with them. I would let them know when I would arrive and give them a time to check in on me if they haven’t heard from me. I know to some this may seem over the top cautious, but I would much rather be safe.

I would only trust a person to my home if I had multiple interactions and felt safe or if I had mutual friends with the person. Sadly some interactions in public were creepy.  I was even  worried for them to see my car. I may have been over the top about dating safety, but too many people are not cautious enough.

Dating can be a lot of fun, but remember to be mindful of safety and trust your gut!

XOXO,

Cecee

 

Taking Steps Towards Transformation

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As much as anyone hates to admit that they let their self go I have to admit that is what I did. Everyone copes with stress and emotions differently. I have never been the girl who stops eating, rather the opposite.

Last year to cope with stress and overwhelming sadness I turned to fatty foods and lots of booze. In the course of a year I gained 25 lbs, 12 lbs of that I packed on in 4 months. Finally in March I had decided I need to regain control of my health. I needed to change my lifestyle back to one that I completely ignored for a while.

Originally the big push was to fit in a dress that I purchased to wear to my friend JoJo’s wedding. Sadly I had gained 12lbs after I purchased the dress and needed to drop within 8 weeks to fit in the dress.

I reached out to my friend Ally Vaeth to help me get back on track. Ally is a health and fitness coach that is highly motivated and inspiring individual. I signed up for her monthly program that includes workouts, meals and amazing support. I would check in with her on a weekly basis and we would adjust my program as needed. Ally’s Instagram  provides examples of workout moves that were listed on my workouts for times I needed an explanation. She also is great to chat through any questions I’ve had for my workouts or meals.

With the help of Ally’s program, meal prep and workout buddy’s I was able to acheive my first goal of fitting in my dress! I lost 10 lbs in that time even with going on a vacation to Austin and doing lots of work travel.  The dress was actually big on me!

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My goal is more than just fitting in this dress. My goal is to continue and drop body fat. While on vacation in Virginia I was mindful of my goal and tried to only have a few cheat meals while still getting my workouts in.

Luckily my friends were very supportive while visiting.  JoJo, Jayne and Danielle all got workouts in with me in and outside of the gym!

I was focused knowing I was going to be in Vegas for a Bachelorette two weeks after my Virginia trip and wanted to look good in my swimsuit.

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Staying on track during vacations and traveling for work is very difficult and requires lots of planning and being very mindful. The hardest part is keeping a positive and focused mindset as life gets hectic! Ally was great in talking through the stress and recommending podcast or books to help. I also have strong support and motivation from others. I know without them I would have struggled to stay on track.

In 12 weeks I have made strong progress. Now without big events to keep me motivated I am trying to not let the chaos of everyday stresses take over and keep my health and fitness a top priority.

My overall goal is to be around 148 lbs and in the 20-22% body fat range. I am 5’6.5 . In 12 weeks I am down 13.6 lbs and 7.3% body fat with an overall muscle gain of 3 lbs.  The stats are listed below the image.

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Left: March 5th 170lbs, 32.9% Body Fat Right: June 3rd, 156.4 , 25.6% Body Fat

Please note this may include affiliate links. Please visit my disclosure page for more information. 

If you are looking to jumpstart your fitness I highly recommend reaching out to Ally either by her Instagram or her website. She has several different packages she can customize to your needs. Let her know I referred you!

Also invest in cutting board, veggie spiralizer, lunch box,  food scale, measuring cups and spoons! 

Keep moving, stay focused and take back your health!

XOXO,

Cecee

 

 

Father’s Day Gift Ideas

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Please note this may include affiliate links. Please visit my disclosure page for more information. 

Father’s Day is just a week away and now is the time to make a plan or get a gift if you haven’t done so already! I have a few fun ideas on how to show dad some appreciation and several links to Amazon Prime items!

As I get older I know I personally appreciate shared experiences the most.  I think most parents feel this way as well and would enjoy creating more memories with their children.

First step on giving a shared experience is determining which hobby your dad enjoys the most. My dad’s favorite hobby is fishing and that is the theme I am going with for him this year.  I purchased my fishing license so all that is left to do is pick up some bait and beer then head to a lake for a fun fishing experience!

In addition to sharing a day at the lake with my dad I wanted to get him a gift he will have in addition to the memories. If you know my dad 95% of the time he is wearing a hat. I bought a custom designed hat that was painted by the hands of a local artist.  The hat, as you can see below could not be more fitting for a fishing weekend!

PS if you want to do a similar experience and provide a hat with a fish/bait painted, here is another hat that is still available. Feel free to reach out to me or the link to the local artist is his Instagram page and you can message for pricing.

Other ideas:

I hope you enjoy a fun experience with your dad!

XOXO,

Cecee

Packing for a Plan

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While traveling keeping up with a fitness/macro plan can be a challenge. I plan to enjoy some of my favorite foods and beverages on vacation, but not to go overboard on my indulgence. In order not to go overboard I need to be prepared with a plan and pack accordingly.

I love my Nike workout gear! I have my workout clothes, running shoes and Converse for leg day all packed. I have already determined days I have access to a gym and ready to do my workouts from my coach, Ally.  The bride, JoJo and I will be hitting up the gym for a strong workout prior to wedding prep fun! There are days that I do not know if I can make it to a gym and for those days I have packed my Sports Research bands and have HIIT workouts planned.

My goal is to get at least 30 minutes of cardio each day on vacation. Luckily Richmond and Virginia Beach are such walkable cities that this goal will be easy to meet! In VB I already have a plan to tackle Mount Trashmore stairs and fitness stations with my girl, Danielle.

Meeting macros will be my biggest challenge on vacation. In efforts to stay on track I have packed my food scale, blender bottle, quest protein powder packs, quest protein bars and drink mix for a low calorie cocktail. I have also packed my vitamins for each day. I will stop at a grocery store to get more items for some of my meals and will focus on making smart choices at restaurants. Typically I only do one cheat meal a week, but on vacation one cheat meal per day without being extreme is my plan.  I can’t miss out on some of my favorite restaurants and trying out some new spots!

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Will power, please don’t fail the plan! Time to stay strong and focused, bikini season is around the corner!

Also the dash to fit in the dress was a big success, as it is actually a little big on me now! Post to follow on fitness progress.

If you have any other travel tips for staying on track with macros during vacation please comment below.

XOXO,

Cecee

 

 

Seeing the wildflowers through the weeds

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I recently traveled to Austin, TX to visit my little, Annie. If you haven’t visited Austin I highly recommend going. This was my third trip to Austin and I can never get enough of this city! The food , shopping and nearby state parks make it a perfect vacation destination! You could potentially end up craving ROBERTO’S BRAZO FUERTE QUESO from Tacodeli all year long. I count down the days for that wonderful cheat meal!

April in Austin provides the beauty of blue bonnets and other gorgeous wildflowers along with overall wonderful weather. I wanted to experience the beauty of the wildflowers as well as a state park this trip so we visited Inks Lake State Park. The park is beautiful with a wonderful lake, waterfalls and wildflowers. Hiking around the park, enjoying a picnic on the rocks by a waterfall and searching for wildflowers was my favorite part of the trip. I do wish I had packed some sunscreen!

I wanted to search for the wildflowers as someone told me that I am a wildflower and I completely fell in love with the term. Wildflowers are sporadic, they sway where the breeze takes them, and they are beauty amongst the weeds.

Even though there are aspects of life I prefer having planned vs swaying, I have made an effort in being more sporadic and accepting of moments. Everyday life, like weeds can be overwhelming. Taking time to search for those beautiful moments can be challenging, but worth it.

During our hike I reflected on all the times that I continued to worry about what’s next and the path to get there. There was no clear direct path or plan leading us to this field of beautiful wildflowers, but we still found them. Appreciating the moments and beauty in little things is my goal as I often get wrapped up in my own mind and easily overwhelmed.

Visit Austin and parks around the city, embrace beautiful moments and don’t let the weeds overwhelm you!

XOXO,

Cecee

Oh Cecilia 

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You’re breaking my heart you’re shaking my confidence daily…

Great song that I often hear and the words “shaking my confidence daily” stand out. I know what I’m about to discuss has nothing to do with what the song is actually about, but it’s so fitting.

This week we celebrated International Women’s Day. My social media was flooded with positive love for fellow women while my personal inbox was attacked. This had me reflect on all the times that by simply being me, I had shaken someone’s confidence.

In high school, there is always drama. For some, that dramatic mindset never goes away. Most of the high school drama is petty and based on feelings due to poor communication, disrespect and misguided finger pointing, or possibly hormones 🤷🏼‍♀️.

As we become adults we learn to respect others from differing backgrounds and mindsets creating the opportunity to grow and learn. Sadly some are not so accepting and you can easily shake their confidence.

Then there are times in your career when based on your age and tenure with a company “you are not supposed to have that position yet, you didn’t slowly move up the ranks”.

I am Cecilia. My own confidence has shaken the confidence of others, both male and female.

I often reflect on the experiences that have shaped me and the tough, negative experiences have made me strong, resilient and overly ambitious. Those tough moments and feelings I do not wish on anyone.

The moments of love, respect , compassion and support shaped me as well and frankly those moments are the most cherished.

Showing respect and compassion while someone is yelling at you and calling you horrible names is beyond difficult, and yes, sometimes I’ve failed and snapped back. Taking the high road can be a challenge, but will provide you more peace than fighting back. I have continuously learned you cannot rationalize with the irrational, no matter the effort you put in.

Having a positive mindset, staying calm in difficult situations and not letting someone shake your confidence is hard. Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, the only thing you can control is how you react.

Life is tough and everyone has their challenges, but showing respect and compassion can make a big difference. The difference may not be how the other person handles the situation, but may just provide peace for yourself knowing you were the bigger person.

XOXO,

Cecee

 

Intentional, Incredible, Inspired…

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This past weekend I attended the Arnold Sports Festival for the 2nd year in a row. This year just like last I gained more than just free products and samples. Being around all the athletes and fitness enthusiasts I am always inspired not only by their physique, but by their mental game and dedication.

Most people look at these athletes and only see their physique and physical strength, but do not understand how intentional they must make each day. These athletes have so much dedication to stay focused on strict meal and workout plans. The plans they follow are down to a science and very structured.

Life is hectic and one can easily fall off track without a strong mental game. As of late my head has not been in the game and motivation has been lacking. I have a decent understanding of what I need to do to get my fitness goals back on track, but need the push!

Last time I fell off track I needed to fit into a dress for a wedding… sadly enough I am in the same boat again a year and a half later. In 2016 I worked with my girl, Ally Vaeth  to fit in a dress for a NYE wedding. Following a meal plan through Thanksgiving and Christmas was tough, but necessary to hit my goal. With the help of Ally and dedication to the plan she created I was able to fit in my dress below!

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I have reached out to Ally again to help me get back on track and hopefully remain consistent in the future.  Ally is so detailed in her plan and genuinely cares about your success. When we met to go over how this program would be set up she made a comment about being intentional each day. This really stayed with me as the days I don’t have a plan are the days I easily skip the gym and have fast food. My schedule is different everyday and changes each week, so a set routine is hard to develop. I need to intentionally include my fitness and meal plans in my weekly to do list.

My before pictures this time around are so embarrassing for me and I am not ready to share until some progress is made. Stay tuned as Ally helps kick my butt back in shape!

Here is the goal dress I bought in September (pic is from September) and sadly have gained 10 lbs since. Operation fit in dress in process!

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XOXO,

Cecee

 

Dating Game

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I am sure by now you have heard the term ghosting, but do you know about breadcrumbing, cushioning, and love bombing?

I first learned of these terms when I saw this article 5 Signs That He’s Just Not That Into You . I feel like the actions have always been around and now with online dating the terms are just being changed or some actually defined. For example, breadcrumbing I would say is leading someone on and cushioning is having someone on the back burner. I have no experience with love bombing, so you can read the description on it in the link above.

In my short time back in the dating game I had said I didn’t want to intentionally ghost anyone as I felt it is disrespectful. Sadly I now realize that I didn’t ghost, but I did do some breadcrumbing. I was guilty of replying and never fully committing to any plans as it was easier to leave the door open. Breadcrumbing can also lead to cushioning in having the foot in the door until someone better comes along or in case the current person is no longer a fit.

The world of swiping makes both breadcrumbing and cushioning easy to do since there are so many options. Dating Apps are exhausting and time consuming.  I got to the point of having a note typed up with typical bio info, fun facts and standard questions that I could copy and paste into messages.  I did this to be efficient as I don’t like duplicate work and I am terrible at remembering who I tell what to. Ask my friends and family, they get stories on repeat as I can’t remember if I told them or not. This tactic is efficient, but not personal nor fair.

In dating it is so easy to get your hopes up and overanalyze every conversation and situation. Over Analyzing will drive you crazy and most likely make you insecure, I know the impact. The important thing to remember is to take someone at face value vs trying to read between the lines. Every personality is different and some are harder to read than others, which is why reading the person shouldn’t be occurring.  If you feel safe around the person and you enjoy each others company over time the key qualities will reveal themselves.  These characteristics will determine if there is a level of comfort that exist or can develop with that person. To determine comfort both people have to be themselves versus the perception they want to present.

Fully opening up and being yourself in front of a stranger is scary since you have to be so vulnerable. The dating game struggle is deciding at what point is it safe to show those vulnerabilities to fully get to know someone and let them know you? If someone wants to spend time with you they will make an effort to plan time together and if they want to get to know you they will ask questions along with sharing aspects of their life.

Dating is hard, fun and scary all at the same time. We date to meet new people and hopefully find a partner in life, at least that should be the ultimate goal. Those out there trying to date please know that ghosting is disrespectful and breadcrumbing/ cushioning can be very hurtful. I understand how it can happen so easily as I have done the same thing, but transparency goes a long way! I’ve taken a hiatus from the dating app game, but going forward will be aware and not play the games mentioned above.

Date respectfully!

XOXO,

Cecee

From We to Me to Swiping

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Since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day I thought sharing about the crazy dating world was fitting. So dating apps… Tinder, Bumble, Hinge etc did not exist the last time I was single,  practically 7years ago 😳 . Dating apps have changed the dating game and it is mind-boggling!

I know there are people out there who have found their soulmates on these types of apps, but based on my experiences so far those people must be so patient.

If you ever had those thoughts of wondering what you missed out on with the dating apps or you are looking to live through your single friends, here are a few stories as to why it is mind-boggling!

The moves of guys on these apps are in extremes of unsolicited dick pics to let’s be exclusive after a week of texting ! Seriously why do you need to respond with a dick pic and the message “think you can handle it” to my question hi! How are you? Oh so you’re literally just a dick haha. 🙈

I do appreciate the ones that respond to the hi! How are you question with “look I’m just here to hook up so if you aren’t into that go ahead and unmatch”. Done, unmatched! I definitely did not indicate DTF on my profile anywhere.

I’m not looking to jump into my next relationship either! One guy after a week of texting and 1 meeting wanted to be exclusive and only invest in me if I could commit on the spot to seeing it working long term.  You do not know someone enough in a week to decide, it takes time! For me to decide I want to see someone more than just a first date is surprising and rare in this swiping world.

Another guy expected responses immediately and if no reply within the hour would send multiple question marks or say Cecee,  hello? … This is a recipe to be unmatched quickly.

Hiding behind these apps people tend to be more bold and interesting than they are in person. You can carefully orchestrate a response when behind a screen, but the truth of being compatible is in the face to face interactions.

I did have one date that after meeting him I quickly had bad vibes and feel like he would easily take advantage of someone. This is why dating safety and public spaces is key. I will have another blog post about dating safety.

I know you have heard the term of ghosting, but more common problems I have faced are breadcrumbing and cushioning.  This topic deserves its own blog post, which will follow.

I have been told about the dating game and friends have tried to give me advice on how to play the game. The truth of the matter is I hate that it is a game and I tend to live by my own rules. The hardest part about dating is blocking out the noise, listening to yourself and being vulnerable.

I will enjoy Valenwine with a Galentine tomorrow and wishing everyone else a Happy Valentine’s Day!

XOXO,

Cecee

Thirty, flirty and thriving

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Did you watch 13 going on 30 with Jennifer Garner? Early on in the movie 13 year old Jennifer (can’t recall the character name) has a famous plea to be thirty, flirty and thriving. Suddenly I am 30, embracing being flirty and thriving!

I will turn 30 this week and my life has taken a turn from what I had envisioned and that is ok. This is 30, a new decade and new adventures.

This year will be full of travel, new experiences and treating myself! I have worked hard for what I have and I am proud of my accomplishments, which is why I am taking this year to spoil and rediscover myself!

The emotional impact and hit to my self-esteem from a divorce was devastating. I needed to pull myself out of the slump. A less conventional  way to see myself in a beautiful, strong and confident way was through a boudoir photo shoot.  I have had boudoir photo shoots before, but this shoot was different. This shoot was solely for me and a start of my self discovery.

Rachel Anne  posted about a special on her  facebook page on one of the days I was really struggling and I reached out to her to book that day.  I had planned on doing a This is 30 shoot, so we went ahead with the birthday shoot even though it was August.

I knew from working with Rachel in the past that just getting my hair and make-up done by her would instantly make me feel better. Rachel was fantastic in listening to me and truly understanding my insecurities, which her images helped me see past and see myself. I saw myself for the strong, independent, confident, and beautiful soul that I am.

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Working with Rachel is empowering and uplifting. This shoot was a step towards knowing it is ok that my plan didn’t work out and I am going to be ok.  Boudoir images will help you see yourself in a fun and flirty light, which I really needed now that I am out in the scary dating world!

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The new fun plan is to celebrate my 30th birthday to the fullest! I have started by celebrating with one of my best friends/Big, who also happens to turn 30 this week! We started the kick-off of birthday week with a fun shopping spree. I really took treat yo self to heart with new clothes, makeup and an iconic piece of jewelry for an iconic birthday.

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My dad has a birthday this week as well! I missed being born on his birthday by an hour, so for the past 30 years we always celebrate our birthday together. Yesterday we celebrated our birthdays with more shopping and lunch together in Bloomington. This shopping trip Pippa made out like a bandit with new toys and treats!  We will celebrate our birthdays again this summer with a fishing trip. We are all about summer fishing vs ice fishing, which is why it is a delayed gift.

This week I am looking forward to celebrating by getting a massage, revamping my hair, lunch dates with friends, my birthday party at The Cake Bake Shop and traveling to San Diego!  Happy dirty 30 to me!

A recap of my birthday week and vacation will occur next week, so stay tuned!

XOXO,

Cecee