Where the hell is the carousel?

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I feel like the last 2 years of my life I have been on a roller coaster and I’m desperately seeking a carousel.

It’s funny that I’m trying to find some consistency in life to cling to, but the only constant is change.

I have had a ton of change with divorce, selling my house , the ups and downs of dating, changes at work and several other challenges. Life keeps hitting me with more twist and turns.

I know that I would quickly be bored on a carousel of consistency in all aspects of life, but there are some areas I feel I need it. I’m realizing the carousel I need is knowing myself and what I can expect from how I treat myself and how I allow others to treat me.

Life is a roller coaster there is no way to predict the ups, downs, twist and turns in life. All you can do is buckle up, hold on and follow the track.

XOXO,

Cecee

Oh Cecilia 

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You’re breaking my heart you’re shaking my confidence daily…

Great song that I often hear and the words “shaking my confidence daily” stand out. I know what I’m about to discuss has nothing to do with what the song is actually about, but it’s so fitting.

This week we celebrated International Women’s Day. My social media was flooded with positive love for fellow women while my personal inbox was attacked. This had me reflect on all the times that by simply being me, I had shaken someone’s confidence.

In high school, there is always drama. For some, that dramatic mindset never goes away. Most of the high school drama is petty and based on feelings due to poor communication, disrespect and misguided finger pointing, or possibly hormones 🤷🏼‍♀️.

As we become adults we learn to respect others from differing backgrounds and mindsets creating the opportunity to grow and learn. Sadly some are not so accepting and you can easily shake their confidence.

Then there are times in your career when based on your age and tenure with a company “you are not supposed to have that position yet, you didn’t slowly move up the ranks”.

I am Cecilia. My own confidence has shaken the confidence of others, both male and female.

I often reflect on the experiences that have shaped me and the tough, negative experiences have made me strong, resilient and overly ambitious. Those tough moments and feelings I do not wish on anyone.

The moments of love, respect , compassion and support shaped me as well and frankly those moments are the most cherished.

Showing respect and compassion while someone is yelling at you and calling you horrible names is beyond difficult, and yes, sometimes I’ve failed and snapped back. Taking the high road can be a challenge, but will provide you more peace than fighting back. I have continuously learned you cannot rationalize with the irrational, no matter the effort you put in.

Having a positive mindset, staying calm in difficult situations and not letting someone shake your confidence is hard. Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, the only thing you can control is how you react.

Life is tough and everyone has their challenges, but showing respect and compassion can make a big difference. The difference may not be how the other person handles the situation, but may just provide peace for yourself knowing you were the bigger person.

XOXO,

Cecee

 

Meal Prep 

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IMG_0686With all the ups and downs this past year I have fallen far from my normal routine of meal prep and I am trying to get back into the swing of things. Above is a picture of my fridge when I am on my meal prep game. I reuse containers from a few of my favorite places to shop in addition to having a few other storage containers. I know there are meal prep containers out there to purchase, but it isn’t necessary.

I try to eat 5 meals a day every 3-4 hours and drink 1 gallon of water a day. To effectively lose weight I must do strength training 3 times a week and do cardio 2 times a week while I stay around 1500-1550 calories. I know this is what works for me and it is different for everyone.

Macro goals for me are: 155g Protein, 90g Carbs, 45g fat

I track my meals on my Fitness Pal, which is a free app.  This will tell you the macros for each food item.

One thing to note is I do not count the carbs in non-starch vegetables. This is just what I do from some guidance of a friend that is in the fitness world. I do not stay exact within the numbers above, but try to be close. Disclaimer, I am not a nutritionist by any means.

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Start my process with breakfast foods before moving to snacks.

My egg muffin recipe is different every time on the use of vegetables, but always same base with deli ham and the eggs and egg whites.

For 1 egg muffin it is 72 c, 12g P, 5g C, 3g F .  I will usually have 4. My first meal will be 288 calories , 48 g P, 20 g C, 12 g F.

Recipe for egg muffins:

  • 12 slices of deli ham
  • 3 egg whites
  • 3 eggs
  • 2 oz mushrooms
  • 4 medium green onions
  • 2 oz peppers
  • 1 small to medium tomato or use cherry tomatoes
  • 8 spears of asparagus
  • 1/4 c 4 cheese Mexican cheese
  • a few spinach leaves
  • salt and pepper to taste

I chop up all the veggies and put then in the ham base and add the eggs that have been seasoned to taste and top with cheese. When I serve I like to add a dash of hot sauce.

Onto snacks. I love vegetables and fruit so they are easy go to snacks for me. The morning I will usually have fruit in my 2nd meal and my 4th meal with be my vegetables and hummus.

Meal 2 : Fresh pineapple 1 Cup and half a cup of reduced fat cottage cheese. 150 cal, 11g P, 21g C , 2.5 g F.

Meal 3 : Lunch and taco bowls are my favorite! 432 Cal, 35 g P, 37g C, 15g F

Recipe for taco bowls:

  • 6 oz ground turkey
  • 1/2 brown rice- I buy frozen brown rice from Trader Joe’s that you heat in microwave
  • 4 Tbsp Salsa
  • 1/2 c sliced peppers
  • 1/4 c green onions
  • 2 tbsp of taco seasoning

I brown the ground turkey then add the taco seasoning. Once done I mix the rice that I microwaved with the ground turkey and add the other ingredients as toppings.

Meal 4: 8 oz Carrots, 1 celery stalk, 2 tbsp black bean hummus : 140 cal, 5g P, 27g C, 2g F

Peppers are chopped ahead for either snacks or use in salads and stirfrys for later in the week. I try to chop ahead any veggies I can use in other meals so it is easy to throw together a meal.

For meal 5 I try not to have any additional carbs. I will either do a veggie stir fry or a salad with protein.

Since I have so much protein left for the day with the above meals I will do a steak since it has the most protein, but it is higher in fat with roasted vegetables. 489 Cal, 50 g P, 23g C, 22 g F.

The above day totals to 1499 Calories, 149 g P, 128 g C (some are veggies I didn’t do the adjustment), 54 g F .

When life gets hectic I like having already prepped meals. My favorite meal prep company is a local company in Indy, Herculean. Their meals are affordable, provide the macros and taste fantastic! My absolute favorite meal is the pulled pork, but the BBQ salmon is a close second.  I highly recommend going into the store front as the staff is wonderful and they have a lot of great merchandise. I really like the protein donuts and ice cream!

What are some of your favorite meal prep dishes?

XOXO,

Cecee

 

2018 Goals

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Happy New Year! I am happy to welcome 2018 and all that it has to offer. This year I am sure I will be faced with challenges as we all are, but I am looking forward to those fun and happy moments.

For the past few years I have been doing goal setting at the beginning of the year vs making resolutions. The most important piece in goal setting is to make sure they are S.M.A.R.T goals. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time bound.

My goals always fall under 3 categories.

  1. Health
  2. Mind
  3. Spirit

My 2018 goals are listed below for each of the above categories.

Health Goals:

  • Minimum of 60 minutes of cardio each week
  • Strive for 7-9 hours of sleep each night.

Before I learned about lifting and loving the results I would only do cardio as my workout. I find it funny that now I hate cardio and must force myself to do it. Each time I go to the gym I am getting at least 20 mins of cardio in and I also purchased a row machine for my house for the days I don’t want to get out in the cold.

I also have been really struggling with getting enough sleep. I need to be better about putting the electronics down and keeping a set bed time. So far this year I am already failing on my sleep goals and still averaging around 5.5 hours each night.

If you are looking for health goals here are a few that I have done in the past: drink 8 ounces of water each day, workout 2 days per week and on average only do 1 cheat meal per week from macro counting.

Mind Goals:

  • Read and learn more about blogging

I have so much to learn still when it comes to blogging. I truly enjoy blogging as a creative outlet. I need to learn more about content calendars, building my page (I’m not tech savvy) and strive to post at least weekly. I am sure there are many aspects that I just don’t know that I don’t know.

Mind goals that I have done in the past: Read 5 books, Finish a designation for work, learn more about the rules of golf, while improving golf game and quarterly be involved in a networking group.

Spirit Goals:

  • Visit 2 new states
  • Quarterly try something new that is outside of my comfort zone

I will be visiting California for the first time this year as that trip is already booked! I am not sure yet what other new state will be on the list this year. I am trying to visit all 50 states by 50. Currently I have been to 32 states. Trying something new would entail some kind of cooking or crafting course, different foods or activity I have not done before.

Other spirit goals from previous years included: journal weekly, visiting new states, 1 random act of kindness per month and dedicating time to family members you don’t interact with often.

In 2018 I begin a new decade as I enter my 30’s and the next chapter of my life. In 2018 I will be:

  • 30
  • Single/Divorced
  • Regaining confidence
  • Rediscovering myself
  • Dating

Stay tuned as I am sure this will be an interesting year!

My beautiful friend, Megan gave me this gorgeous Alex and Ani bracelet for Christmas and it is my 2018 mantra.

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Good luck with your 2018 goals or resolutions! Do you have a mantra for 2018?

Xoxo,

Cecee

Well… 2017 was interesting

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Looking back on 2017 I have a variety of happy and not so happy memories. This year for me has been a year of struggle. I know that I have created some happy memories this year, but overall 2017 was painful. Through struggle one will grow.  I know the many lessons and the pain is for a reason, but only time will tell what that reason is.

The  highlights of 2017 are as follows:

Celebrating my 29th birthday with a group of friends on a brew bus! Since it was my last 20’s birthday I wanted to do it up big and Mike so graciously planned it so that I could.

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Valentine’s Galentine at Cake Bake Shop

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Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day with Stacy

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Mike and I traveled back to RVA for Parnie’s baby shower and visited other friends as well as hosted my family for Easter.

Easter has always been one of my favorite holidays to host. This year Easter was heartbreaking and eye opening, which you would never know with these smiles.

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May in Indianapolis is all about preparing for the fun of the Indy 500.  Memorial Day weekend is full of parties and gathering with friends! Can you tell in this picture of Mike and I that we were on a break and that day was the first day interacting in a week?

June kicked off summer with festivals, a wedding, and lots of golf. Can you tell that we actually want different futures?

July, the summer fun continues with more festivals, pool parties, and traveling. Mike and I were in the process of evaluating the future of our relationship.

Then August arrived, and with all the fun activities that occurred you would never know my future as I saw it was shattered. Literally the day before this pool party we accepted that divorce was our future. We agreed we would continue with upcoming plans that were set before announcing.

I spent most of August in bed crying or trying not to cry while living a lie, but I looked so happy.

September I finally started to feel a little relief as we slowly started to face reality and let people know. We waited to tell my family until one more fun Labor Day pool party and after that I finally told my parents. I’m really close to my family. That time was horrible to suffer alone and I felt horrible to keep a life changing event from them, but I respected our agreement to wait on announcing.

This was the last photo of our little family and during this photo our family was already living separate lives. There is always more than meets the eye, but my eyes here show the impacts of many tears during previous weeks.

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Once we started to let people know I started to occupy my time more with my friends. September was fun with friends! I did a fall craft and facial night, traveled a lot for work, celebrated the taping of Bier Brewery’s pumpkin ale, enjoyed the Indianapolis Children’s Museum for the first time, celebrated Elizabeth’s 30th , explored my hometown with a friend and enjoyed the last of summer either at my pool or on the golf course.

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I knew in October I would need to do something outside my norm as taking over the mortgage and filing all the paperwork for divorce was overwhelmingly emotional. I planned a trip with my friend Kate to New England area. Read more about that trip on my blog post Who’s That Girl.

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November was eye-opening of what being a solo homeowner entails.  Funny how when your partner is no longer there you realize the help they provided. Cleaning up all the leaves and the assistance provided in hosting was missed, but other friends stepped up or I hired people to help.  November also consisted of Pippa having more play dates with Scout, hosting Friendsgiving and I continued the tradition of helping my dad get firewood in for the winter.

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December is full swing holiday season. I usually get really excited to decorate for Christmas the Saturday after Thanksgiving. This year my cousin had to push me along to take down my fall decor and put up some Christmas decor. I never put up my outside lights and this year only 1 tree out of my traditional 3 made it up. Getting in the Christmas spirit was a challenge and never fully happened.

As more and more family found out and I know their words and hugs were all full of love and support, I couldn’t help feeling like a wounded animal that everyone felt sorry for. I did greatly appreciate all the invites during the season from my family and friends to help me stay distracted. I know over time the holidays alone will probably get easier, but this year Single All the Way was not fun. Here is a recap of some fun in December.

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As I have shared, social media can be very false as people typically only share the happy moments. Once I told people about the divorce I heard often that you looked so happy on social media and they had no idea we were struggling. Everyone has a battle that they do not highlight. Their life may appear perfect via social media, but there is always more than meets the eye.

I have mourned the death of my marriage and my dream for my future. The new year of 2018 was supposed to be going on a grand vacation to Australia and New Zealand as well as a cruise with friends to celebrate our 30th birthdays then trying to start a family. Clearly different plans for my future as life didn’t go as I planned. My plan was flawed and changed for a reason.

I do not know what to expect of 2018 and the year of my 30th birthday, but I do know I am ready to kiss 2017 goodbye!

Goodbye 2017 and Mrs. Fisher, hello again Cecee Emmons… time to be selfish!

XOXO,

Cecee