Thank you, Next …2018 recap

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2018 … I can go on about all the struggles and challenges you hit me with. Challenges that caused me to feel so broken, but I will just say Thank You, Next.

It’s ok to be broken and sometimes some of the pieces are so broken they will never be fully restored to what they once were. Now I can pick up all the pieces and rebuild into something new.

2018 also had some beautiful highlights that I’m very grateful.

In January, I turned 30 and celebrated in a big way with friends locally then off to Cali!

February was low key, so low key that I hardly have any photos from the month. I did enjoy a Valentines dinner with my friend Laura and Indy Taco week with Ben and Elizabeth.

March, I started back on track with counting Macros, played in the snow, joined friends in a St.Patrick’s Day pub crawl, and hosted my family for Easter.

April was my favorite month of travel! I went to a Stanley Cup playoff game, Austin, TX and Virginia. I spent a lot of time with friends.

April was also very scary as a lump was found on my breast during my annual exam. At 30 years old, I had to go in for a mammogram to determine if I had breast cancer. Thankfully, I am ok and must continue to monitor. I urge all to be diligent about their health.

In May, I traveled to Vegas for Kristi’s bachelorette party, met my friend’s little boy, enjoyed time around the pool and planted a garden.

June was Wine Fest, fishing for Father’s Day, and Indy Pride.

July I did a fun 4th of July photo shoot for a blog, hosted a brunch pool party, attended my cousin’s bridal shower, went on a girls trip to French Lick then onto Nashville,TN and the biggest challenge was when I backed a boat trailer and learned how to fish with an open face reel 😊.

August was a lot of working on the house as I decided I wanted to put it on the market in September. I played in my ladies golf league all summer along with an outing for work. Lots of pool days, a date night, kept grinding in the gym and cheered on Kevin as he and his partner won their division at CrossFit Summer Bash . I am beyond grateful for the time and help my family and Kevin provided in order to get the house ready. I basically was a regular at Lowe’s all month.

September was a whirlwind hosting my last Labor Day pool party at the house, listing the house, lake life, traveling for work meetings, MI vacation, Candlelight Tour, and cousin’s wedding.

September also began the next series of health issues and vet ER visits for Pippa.

October I accepted and offer on my house, said bye to my blonde locks, had a packing party and passed out candy on Halloween for the last time at my home on Wawasee Court.

In November, Pippa and I said our final goodbye to our home on Wawasee Court and moved in with a friend in Fishers. I then had more work travels and met Barbara Bush! I traveled back home for the Christmas tree lighting at West Baden Resort and Thanksgiving.

In December, Jessica and I decked the halls and hosted a cookie exchange, I made a Christmas card, I traveled to Austin to help Annie pack as well as celebrate her 30th, work trip to Nashville, Christmas celebrations and then a trip to Wilstem Guest Ranch.

2018, I thank you for the beautiful moments and the lessons.

Now 2019, I know you are full of growth potential, but please don’t be as stressful.

XOXO,

Cecee

Well… 2017 was interesting

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Looking back on 2017 I have a variety of happy and not so happy memories. This year for me has been a year of struggle. I know that I have created some happy memories this year, but overall 2017 was painful. Through struggle one will grow.  I know the many lessons and the pain is for a reason, but only time will tell what that reason is.

The  highlights of 2017 are as follows:

Celebrating my 29th birthday with a group of friends on a brew bus! Since it was my last 20’s birthday I wanted to do it up big and Mike so graciously planned it so that I could.

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Valentine’s Galentine at Cake Bake Shop

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Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day with Stacy

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Mike and I traveled back to RVA for Parnie’s baby shower and visited other friends as well as hosted my family for Easter.

Easter has always been one of my favorite holidays to host. This year Easter was heartbreaking and eye opening, which you would never know with these smiles.

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May in Indianapolis is all about preparing for the fun of the Indy 500.  Memorial Day weekend is full of parties and gathering with friends! Can you tell in this picture of Mike and I that we were on a break and that day was the first day interacting in a week?

June kicked off summer with festivals, a wedding, and lots of golf. Can you tell that we actually want different futures?

July, the summer fun continues with more festivals, pool parties, and traveling. Mike and I were in the process of evaluating the future of our relationship.

Then August arrived, and with all the fun activities that occurred you would never know my future as I saw it was shattered. Literally the day before this pool party we accepted that divorce was our future. We agreed we would continue with upcoming plans that were set before announcing.

I spent most of August in bed crying or trying not to cry while living a lie, but I looked so happy.

September I finally started to feel a little relief as we slowly started to face reality and let people know. We waited to tell my family until one more fun Labor Day pool party and after that I finally told my parents. I’m really close to my family. That time was horrible to suffer alone and I felt horrible to keep a life changing event from them, but I respected our agreement to wait on announcing.

This was the last photo of our little family and during this photo our family was already living separate lives. There is always more than meets the eye, but my eyes here show the impacts of many tears during previous weeks.

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Once we started to let people know I started to occupy my time more with my friends. September was fun with friends! I did a fall craft and facial night, traveled a lot for work, celebrated the taping of Bier Brewery’s pumpkin ale, enjoyed the Indianapolis Children’s Museum for the first time, celebrated Elizabeth’s 30th , explored my hometown with a friend and enjoyed the last of summer either at my pool or on the golf course.

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I knew in October I would need to do something outside my norm as taking over the mortgage and filing all the paperwork for divorce was overwhelmingly emotional. I planned a trip with my friend Kate to New England area. Read more about that trip on my blog post Who’s That Girl.

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November was eye-opening of what being a solo homeowner entails.  Funny how when your partner is no longer there you realize the help they provided. Cleaning up all the leaves and the assistance provided in hosting was missed, but other friends stepped up or I hired people to help.  November also consisted of Pippa having more play dates with Scout, hosting Friendsgiving and I continued the tradition of helping my dad get firewood in for the winter.

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December is full swing holiday season. I usually get really excited to decorate for Christmas the Saturday after Thanksgiving. This year my cousin had to push me along to take down my fall decor and put up some Christmas decor. I never put up my outside lights and this year only 1 tree out of my traditional 3 made it up. Getting in the Christmas spirit was a challenge and never fully happened.

As more and more family found out and I know their words and hugs were all full of love and support, I couldn’t help feeling like a wounded animal that everyone felt sorry for. I did greatly appreciate all the invites during the season from my family and friends to help me stay distracted. I know over time the holidays alone will probably get easier, but this year Single All the Way was not fun. Here is a recap of some fun in December.

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As I have shared, social media can be very false as people typically only share the happy moments. Once I told people about the divorce I heard often that you looked so happy on social media and they had no idea we were struggling. Everyone has a battle that they do not highlight. Their life may appear perfect via social media, but there is always more than meets the eye.

I have mourned the death of my marriage and my dream for my future. The new year of 2018 was supposed to be going on a grand vacation to Australia and New Zealand as well as a cruise with friends to celebrate our 30th birthdays then trying to start a family. Clearly different plans for my future as life didn’t go as I planned. My plan was flawed and changed for a reason.

I do not know what to expect of 2018 and the year of my 30th birthday, but I do know I am ready to kiss 2017 goodbye!

Goodbye 2017 and Mrs. Fisher, hello again Cecee Emmons… time to be selfish!

XOXO,

Cecee