Dating…it’s so silly

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Recently one of my sweet sorority sisters has been sharing the terrors of online dating via her IG story. While it is entertaining and her commentary is the best I can’t help thinking how online dating is such a joke. Yes, I know people find their true loves this way, but this takes a lot of time and energy to do so.

I know we laugh at the Bachelor franchise when the comments of he/she is not here for the right reasons, but most on the dating apps are in that same group.

Then when you do find someone online or anywhere for that matter, who seems like a normal person and could have potential you have to overcome baggage.

Baggage can come in many forms. Mine is the divorce and feeling like I failed at marriage/ relationship.

Getting back in the dating world I’ve been so reserved in showing who I truly am for fear that I will run others off. I have over analyzed every interaction hoping I didn’t come across a certain way.

My fear has created insecurities that I have not had before and ones I thought I had overcome. Sharing my thoughts and feelings has not come easy.

Some baggage is so heavy that the person is jaded. When you become jaded the likelihood that you are ready for a relationship is slim regardless of what you say. Mindset is key here as the person needs to let go of past anger and heartbreak to allow others in. Assuming everyone is going to hurt you is not fair and shows how emotionally unavailable you are.

In relationships you take on some of your significant other’s baggage. Taking on baggage does not mean you have to let it weigh you down. One can be supportive and understanding without taking on all the stress, it’s all about mindset and boundaries.

To my friends out there balancing the dating world and those in a relationship I have a few thoughts based on my experiences.

1. Accept the impact of past relationships, but do not dwell. Take the lessons and grow from the experience.

2. Know change is constant and you need self reflection. You need self reflection to be the best you can be for yourself and your partner.

3. Set your boundaries and communicate them. Setting expectations on how you can be supportive, areas that are challenging for you as well as several other aspects will help prevent frustration.

Good luck and keep discovering who you are. Find someone who pushes you to be the best you can be and will be there to catch you when you fall.

XOXO,

Cecee

Photo Credit: Rachel

What’s Past the Horizon…

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I have been missing from my blog for a while. I feel as I have dropped the ball on all aspects of life lately and very overwhelmed. I am usually a very optimistic person and often think about the future with great possibilities. Lately a lot of change is happening all at once and I am having a hard time staying positive and being happy in the moments.

Seeing past the horizon and seeing change as a positive is usually easy for me as I set a plan to prepare.Currently I feel like I have no plans and it creates extreme anxiety for me, which I have never experienced before.

Reasons I feel overwhelmed…

  • I have been going back and forth with selling my house and no clue where I will move to if I do.
  • My work territory has expanded. Positive is I will have more opportunity, which I am excited about. I am stressed due to timing with figuring out about selling and moving at the same time as expanding my territory .
  • Friends/Family that I usually see often are busy. I feel like this stage of life is weird with friends being at various stages of life and keeping in touch is hard.
  • Feeling like I am letting myself down as well as others. I am not good enough.

I am not writing this for sympathy or empathy it is more for an apology to my friends and family who I know are going through some struggles and I am sorry I don’t have the energy to be there for you like I want to. I apologize for causing stress and anxiety for others while I have been trying to battle my own.

I know everyone is faced with their own battles and we don’t always see or know what they are. Be kind to everyone you interact with as you don’t know the impact you are making on that person.

Sending prayers, warm wishes and love!

XOXO,

Cecee

Stranger Danger 

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At what point are you no longer strangers? In talking to several friends who are either in the online dating world or have met their significant other online it is always interesting to hear how they have handled initial interactions with people.

Some have shared they have a rule of thumb of chatting for 2 weeks via apps, text, phone calls or FaceTime before meeting the person and based on the interaction will allow to their home.

I am a person who has watched entirely too many episodes of Criminal Minds and Law and Order SVU. Trusting a stranger to pick me up at my house, specifically just knowing where I lived was not ok with me. Anytime I would go on a first date I would only meet at a public space.

In addition to meeting at a public space I was overly cautious and sending certain friends a photo of the guy I was meeting, facts I knew about him and sharing my location on my iPhone with them. I would let them know when I would arrive and give them a time to check in on me if they haven’t heard from me. I know to some this may seem over the top cautious, but I would much rather be safe.

I would only trust a person to my home if I had multiple interactions and felt safe or if I had mutual friends with the person. Sadly some interactions in public were creepy.  I was even  worried for them to see my car. I may have been over the top about dating safety, but too many people are not cautious enough.

Dating can be a lot of fun, but remember to be mindful of safety and trust your gut!

XOXO,

Cecee

 

Father’s Day Gift Ideas

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Please note this may include affiliate links. Please visit my disclosure page for more information. 

Father’s Day is just a week away and now is the time to make a plan or get a gift if you haven’t done so already! I have a few fun ideas on how to show dad some appreciation and several links to Amazon Prime items!

As I get older I know I personally appreciate shared experiences the most.  I think most parents feel this way as well and would enjoy creating more memories with their children.

First step on giving a shared experience is determining which hobby your dad enjoys the most. My dad’s favorite hobby is fishing and that is the theme I am going with for him this year.  I purchased my fishing license so all that is left to do is pick up some bait and beer then head to a lake for a fun fishing experience!

In addition to sharing a day at the lake with my dad I wanted to get him a gift he will have in addition to the memories. If you know my dad 95% of the time he is wearing a hat. I bought a custom designed hat that was painted by the hands of a local artist.  The hat, as you can see below could not be more fitting for a fishing weekend!

PS if you want to do a similar experience and provide a hat with a fish/bait painted, here is another hat that is still available. Feel free to reach out to me or the link to the local artist is his Instagram page and you can message for pricing.

Other ideas:

I hope you enjoy a fun experience with your dad!

XOXO,

Cecee

Oh Cecilia 

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You’re breaking my heart you’re shaking my confidence daily…

Great song that I often hear and the words “shaking my confidence daily” stand out. I know what I’m about to discuss has nothing to do with what the song is actually about, but it’s so fitting.

This week we celebrated International Women’s Day. My social media was flooded with positive love for fellow women while my personal inbox was attacked. This had me reflect on all the times that by simply being me, I had shaken someone’s confidence.

In high school, there is always drama. For some, that dramatic mindset never goes away. Most of the high school drama is petty and based on feelings due to poor communication, disrespect and misguided finger pointing, or possibly hormones 🤷🏼‍♀️.

As we become adults we learn to respect others from differing backgrounds and mindsets creating the opportunity to grow and learn. Sadly some are not so accepting and you can easily shake their confidence.

Then there are times in your career when based on your age and tenure with a company “you are not supposed to have that position yet, you didn’t slowly move up the ranks”.

I am Cecilia. My own confidence has shaken the confidence of others, both male and female.

I often reflect on the experiences that have shaped me and the tough, negative experiences have made me strong, resilient and overly ambitious. Those tough moments and feelings I do not wish on anyone.

The moments of love, respect , compassion and support shaped me as well and frankly those moments are the most cherished.

Showing respect and compassion while someone is yelling at you and calling you horrible names is beyond difficult, and yes, sometimes I’ve failed and snapped back. Taking the high road can be a challenge, but will provide you more peace than fighting back. I have continuously learned you cannot rationalize with the irrational, no matter the effort you put in.

Having a positive mindset, staying calm in difficult situations and not letting someone shake your confidence is hard. Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, the only thing you can control is how you react.

Life is tough and everyone has their challenges, but showing respect and compassion can make a big difference. The difference may not be how the other person handles the situation, but may just provide peace for yourself knowing you were the bigger person.

XOXO,

Cecee

 

Intentional, Incredible, Inspired…

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This past weekend I attended the Arnold Sports Festival for the 2nd year in a row. This year just like last I gained more than just free products and samples. Being around all the athletes and fitness enthusiasts I am always inspired not only by their physique, but by their mental game and dedication.

Most people look at these athletes and only see their physique and physical strength, but do not understand how intentional they must make each day. These athletes have so much dedication to stay focused on strict meal and workout plans. The plans they follow are down to a science and very structured.

Life is hectic and one can easily fall off track without a strong mental game. As of late my head has not been in the game and motivation has been lacking. I have a decent understanding of what I need to do to get my fitness goals back on track, but need the push!

Last time I fell off track I needed to fit into a dress for a wedding… sadly enough I am in the same boat again a year and a half later. In 2016 I worked with my girl, Ally Vaeth  to fit in a dress for a NYE wedding. Following a meal plan through Thanksgiving and Christmas was tough, but necessary to hit my goal. With the help of Ally and dedication to the plan she created I was able to fit in my dress below!

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I have reached out to Ally again to help me get back on track and hopefully remain consistent in the future.  Ally is so detailed in her plan and genuinely cares about your success. When we met to go over how this program would be set up she made a comment about being intentional each day. This really stayed with me as the days I don’t have a plan are the days I easily skip the gym and have fast food. My schedule is different everyday and changes each week, so a set routine is hard to develop. I need to intentionally include my fitness and meal plans in my weekly to do list.

My before pictures this time around are so embarrassing for me and I am not ready to share until some progress is made. Stay tuned as Ally helps kick my butt back in shape!

Here is the goal dress I bought in September (pic is from September) and sadly have gained 10 lbs since. Operation fit in dress in process!

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XOXO,

Cecee

 

Adulting is HARD

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This past week was beyond rough! They say bad things happen in 3’s and I really hope I’m good for a while on the bad. To some of you who have been adulting longer some of my lessons you probably know and are laughing at me, but for others you’re welcome.

The week started with of with getting my washer repaired after last week the guy at Home Depot giving me adjustments over the phone didn’t work. I kept thinking I am going to end up on a radio station as that crazy girl since the guy told me to turn the dial 6 times to the left, now 3 to the right, 2 to the left and now you have to slam the lid 6 times within 12 seconds… and GO! Well, that didn’t work so let’s try it again. When it still didn’t work they sent a technician out on Monday to take a look. Apparently all that silliness worked to reset the sensors, but what I wasn’t prepared for is when the technician asked me when is that last time you washed the washing machine? I laughed and said excuse me ? Is that really a thing and if so never? He informed me these newer washers should be washed once a month with an Aafresh pod and not to do another load until I washed it. Who knew?! I polled a few of my friends and they didn’t know either.  Lesson for those of you who don’t know, if you have a newer washer you must wash it to prevent clogs and tripping of sensors. 

Tuesday at 2 AM Pippa woke me up to go out, which sadly she’s been doing a lot. Well, this time she started barking and of course my yelling for her didn’t stop her from going after whatever she was chasing so I had to go get a flash light. She was running really funny at an angle and chomping weird like she had something in her mouth and thought great she’s caught something again (she has caught and killed a squirrel in the yard). When I get to her to see what she has she collapsed and started having a seizure. I didn’t have my phone to time it so I just started counting and trying to let her know I was there and as soon as it stopped I saw blood in the snow with no idea where it was coming from so I wrapped her in a towel and off to the pet hospital. This is the 2nd seizure she has had and the first occurred in October 2017. The blood was coming from her paws as she cut and bruised herself while paddling in the rocks she collapsed in, which was easy to treat. At this point the only way to determine if it is epilepsy is to rule out if there is an infection or cancer in her brain and you do that with an MRI. The estimated cost is around $2,000 and all it would be doing is giving me information. Going forward I have to monitor the seizures and time them and if the frequency and severity increase then I will look at medication. My lesson pets are expensive and I love Pippa with all my heart, but knowing when to say no to the expenses and hope for the best is tough. 

Wednesday at 2:30 AM I wake up to sharp stomach pains and end up throwing up until 5:30 AM and sleeping on the bathroom floor. I have chills, body aches , nausea and a fever of 101.8. I spent most of the day in bed and thinking I would die. Thank goodness one of my best friends is a doctor and called me to let me know what I should do and when I should try to get into a doctor. I had been trying to sweat out my fever with a heated blanket on high and tons of layers, but that wasn’t working. Lesson learned always have Tylenol on hand as it is the best to reduce a fever and keep some Gatorade on hand for hydration and nausea. 

Not the most ideal way to drop weight, but hey I’ll take the 4lbs down!

Thursday my fever was finally broke, but I still had no energy and was so tired. I slept most of the day and around 8pm finally was feeling better and decided I needed to wash my bedding and get the germs out of the house. The Aafresh pods arrived from Amazon so I washed the washer and was ready to do a load of laundry so I did. While in the other room I suddenly hear a bubbling sound and run to the laundry room to find it flooded and water coming up out of the drain in the floor. At this point I am concerned of freezing temps to come and pipes freezing. I clean up the mess, then get under the crawl space to see if I see any leaks happening and I don’t. I then take a snake to the drain which didn’t seem to do anything so my last option is calling a plumber. I get added to list for a call back the next day. As you can imagine after being in bed for 2 days this was a lot of energy exhorted and I no longer felt good so it was back to bed. Lesson here I am glad that I had a snake to try to unclog the drain myself and that my dad had taught me these lessons already. 

Friday was waiting around for a plumber that I didn’t hear from until I got frustrated and called another service who responded and was to my house within an hour. For those of you not in Indy we had TERRIBLE weather of ice and snow on Friday so the fact of me calling at 4:15 and they arrived at my house at 5 was impressive beyond measure! If you need a plumber in the Indy area I would recommend Howald as they were fantastic.  I am grateful that Austin, the technician that came out tried other methods to check for the clog vs immediately using bigger equipment, which would have added $200 to the bill! All was good and no clog and thinks perhaps the fact my washer wasn’t used for a while or the suds from the aafresh pod could have created extra foam for the drain to bubble out more, but nothing was wrong. Lesson there is supposed to be some water in that drain and I really have no worry of the drain actually freezing. Also next time I wash my washer I am not going to immediately do a load of laundry.  I now have a preferred plumber to call. 

Adulting lesson that I feel like would make life easier is keeping a list of preferred contractors with their phone numbers handy as well as any warranty numbers and dates of warranty expiration.

This week was rough, but my weekend was very productive!

Time to finish meal prep for the week, which will be the topic of my next post.

Have a great week!

XOXO,

Cecee