Dating…it’s so silly

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Recently one of my sweet sorority sisters has been sharing the terrors of online dating via her IG story. While it is entertaining and her commentary is the best I can’t help thinking how online dating is such a joke. Yes, I know people find their true loves this way, but this takes a lot of time and energy to do so.

I know we laugh at the Bachelor franchise when the comments of he/she is not here for the right reasons, but most on the dating apps are in that same group.

Then when you do find someone online or anywhere for that matter, who seems like a normal person and could have potential you have to overcome baggage.

Baggage can come in many forms. Mine is the divorce and feeling like I failed at marriage/ relationship.

Getting back in the dating world I’ve been so reserved in showing who I truly am for fear that I will run others off. I have over analyzed every interaction hoping I didn’t come across a certain way.

My fear has created insecurities that I have not had before and ones I thought I had overcome. Sharing my thoughts and feelings has not come easy.

Some baggage is so heavy that the person is jaded. When you become jaded the likelihood that you are ready for a relationship is slim regardless of what you say. Mindset is key here as the person needs to let go of past anger and heartbreak to allow others in. Assuming everyone is going to hurt you is not fair and shows how emotionally unavailable you are.

In relationships you take on some of your significant other’s baggage. Taking on baggage does not mean you have to let it weigh you down. One can be supportive and understanding without taking on all the stress, it’s all about mindset and boundaries.

To my friends out there balancing the dating world and those in a relationship I have a few thoughts based on my experiences.

1. Accept the impact of past relationships, but do not dwell. Take the lessons and grow from the experience.

2. Know change is constant and you need self reflection. You need self reflection to be the best you can be for yourself and your partner.

3. Set your boundaries and communicate them. Setting expectations on how you can be supportive, areas that are challenging for you as well as several other aspects will help prevent frustration.

Good luck and keep discovering who you are. Find someone who pushes you to be the best you can be and will be there to catch you when you fall.

XOXO,

Cecee

Photo Credit: Rachel

Intentional, Incredible, Inspired…

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This past weekend I attended the Arnold Sports Festival for the 2nd year in a row. This year just like last I gained more than just free products and samples. Being around all the athletes and fitness enthusiasts I am always inspired not only by their physique, but by their mental game and dedication.

Most people look at these athletes and only see their physique and physical strength, but do not understand how intentional they must make each day. These athletes have so much dedication to stay focused on strict meal and workout plans. The plans they follow are down to a science and very structured.

Life is hectic and one can easily fall off track without a strong mental game. As of late my head has not been in the game and motivation has been lacking. I have a decent understanding of what I need to do to get my fitness goals back on track, but need the push!

Last time I fell off track I needed to fit into a dress for a wedding… sadly enough I am in the same boat again a year and a half later. In 2016 I worked with my girl, Ally Vaeth  to fit in a dress for a NYE wedding. Following a meal plan through Thanksgiving and Christmas was tough, but necessary to hit my goal. With the help of Ally and dedication to the plan she created I was able to fit in my dress below!

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I have reached out to Ally again to help me get back on track and hopefully remain consistent in the future.  Ally is so detailed in her plan and genuinely cares about your success. When we met to go over how this program would be set up she made a comment about being intentional each day. This really stayed with me as the days I don’t have a plan are the days I easily skip the gym and have fast food. My schedule is different everyday and changes each week, so a set routine is hard to develop. I need to intentionally include my fitness and meal plans in my weekly to do list.

My before pictures this time around are so embarrassing for me and I am not ready to share until some progress is made. Stay tuned as Ally helps kick my butt back in shape!

Here is the goal dress I bought in September (pic is from September) and sadly have gained 10 lbs since. Operation fit in dress in process!

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XOXO,

Cecee

 

2018 Goals

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Happy New Year! I am happy to welcome 2018 and all that it has to offer. This year I am sure I will be faced with challenges as we all are, but I am looking forward to those fun and happy moments.

For the past few years I have been doing goal setting at the beginning of the year vs making resolutions. The most important piece in goal setting is to make sure they are S.M.A.R.T goals. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time bound.

My goals always fall under 3 categories.

  1. Health
  2. Mind
  3. Spirit

My 2018 goals are listed below for each of the above categories.

Health Goals:

  • Minimum of 60 minutes of cardio each week
  • Strive for 7-9 hours of sleep each night.

Before I learned about lifting and loving the results I would only do cardio as my workout. I find it funny that now I hate cardio and must force myself to do it. Each time I go to the gym I am getting at least 20 mins of cardio in and I also purchased a row machine for my house for the days I don’t want to get out in the cold.

I also have been really struggling with getting enough sleep. I need to be better about putting the electronics down and keeping a set bed time. So far this year I am already failing on my sleep goals and still averaging around 5.5 hours each night.

If you are looking for health goals here are a few that I have done in the past: drink 8 ounces of water each day, workout 2 days per week and on average only do 1 cheat meal per week from macro counting.

Mind Goals:

  • Read and learn more about blogging

I have so much to learn still when it comes to blogging. I truly enjoy blogging as a creative outlet. I need to learn more about content calendars, building my page (I’m not tech savvy) and strive to post at least weekly. I am sure there are many aspects that I just don’t know that I don’t know.

Mind goals that I have done in the past: Read 5 books, Finish a designation for work, learn more about the rules of golf, while improving golf game and quarterly be involved in a networking group.

Spirit Goals:

  • Visit 2 new states
  • Quarterly try something new that is outside of my comfort zone

I will be visiting California for the first time this year as that trip is already booked! I am not sure yet what other new state will be on the list this year. I am trying to visit all 50 states by 50. Currently I have been to 32 states. Trying something new would entail some kind of cooking or crafting course, different foods or activity I have not done before.

Other spirit goals from previous years included: journal weekly, visiting new states, 1 random act of kindness per month and dedicating time to family members you don’t interact with often.

In 2018 I begin a new decade as I enter my 30’s and the next chapter of my life. In 2018 I will be:

  • 30
  • Single/Divorced
  • Regaining confidence
  • Rediscovering myself
  • Dating

Stay tuned as I am sure this will be an interesting year!

My beautiful friend, Megan gave me this gorgeous Alex and Ani bracelet for Christmas and it is my 2018 mantra.

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Good luck with your 2018 goals or resolutions! Do you have a mantra for 2018?

Xoxo,

Cecee

Well… 2017 was interesting

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Looking back on 2017 I have a variety of happy and not so happy memories. This year for me has been a year of struggle. I know that I have created some happy memories this year, but overall 2017 was painful. Through struggle one will grow.  I know the many lessons and the pain is for a reason, but only time will tell what that reason is.

The  highlights of 2017 are as follows:

Celebrating my 29th birthday with a group of friends on a brew bus! Since it was my last 20’s birthday I wanted to do it up big and Mike so graciously planned it so that I could.

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Valentine’s Galentine at Cake Bake Shop

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Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day with Stacy

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Mike and I traveled back to RVA for Parnie’s baby shower and visited other friends as well as hosted my family for Easter.

Easter has always been one of my favorite holidays to host. This year Easter was heartbreaking and eye opening, which you would never know with these smiles.

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May in Indianapolis is all about preparing for the fun of the Indy 500.  Memorial Day weekend is full of parties and gathering with friends! Can you tell in this picture of Mike and I that we were on a break and that day was the first day interacting in a week?

June kicked off summer with festivals, a wedding, and lots of golf. Can you tell that we actually want different futures?

July, the summer fun continues with more festivals, pool parties, and traveling. Mike and I were in the process of evaluating the future of our relationship.

Then August arrived, and with all the fun activities that occurred you would never know my future as I saw it was shattered. Literally the day before this pool party we accepted that divorce was our future. We agreed we would continue with upcoming plans that were set before announcing.

I spent most of August in bed crying or trying not to cry while living a lie, but I looked so happy.

September I finally started to feel a little relief as we slowly started to face reality and let people know. We waited to tell my family until one more fun Labor Day pool party and after that I finally told my parents. I’m really close to my family. That time was horrible to suffer alone and I felt horrible to keep a life changing event from them, but I respected our agreement to wait on announcing.

This was the last photo of our little family and during this photo our family was already living separate lives. There is always more than meets the eye, but my eyes here show the impacts of many tears during previous weeks.

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Once we started to let people know I started to occupy my time more with my friends. September was fun with friends! I did a fall craft and facial night, traveled a lot for work, celebrated the taping of Bier Brewery’s pumpkin ale, enjoyed the Indianapolis Children’s Museum for the first time, celebrated Elizabeth’s 30th , explored my hometown with a friend and enjoyed the last of summer either at my pool or on the golf course.

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I knew in October I would need to do something outside my norm as taking over the mortgage and filing all the paperwork for divorce was overwhelmingly emotional. I planned a trip with my friend Kate to New England area. Read more about that trip on my blog post Who’s That Girl.

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November was eye-opening of what being a solo homeowner entails.  Funny how when your partner is no longer there you realize the help they provided. Cleaning up all the leaves and the assistance provided in hosting was missed, but other friends stepped up or I hired people to help.  November also consisted of Pippa having more play dates with Scout, hosting Friendsgiving and I continued the tradition of helping my dad get firewood in for the winter.

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December is full swing holiday season. I usually get really excited to decorate for Christmas the Saturday after Thanksgiving. This year my cousin had to push me along to take down my fall decor and put up some Christmas decor. I never put up my outside lights and this year only 1 tree out of my traditional 3 made it up. Getting in the Christmas spirit was a challenge and never fully happened.

As more and more family found out and I know their words and hugs were all full of love and support, I couldn’t help feeling like a wounded animal that everyone felt sorry for. I did greatly appreciate all the invites during the season from my family and friends to help me stay distracted. I know over time the holidays alone will probably get easier, but this year Single All the Way was not fun. Here is a recap of some fun in December.

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As I have shared, social media can be very false as people typically only share the happy moments. Once I told people about the divorce I heard often that you looked so happy on social media and they had no idea we were struggling. Everyone has a battle that they do not highlight. Their life may appear perfect via social media, but there is always more than meets the eye.

I have mourned the death of my marriage and my dream for my future. The new year of 2018 was supposed to be going on a grand vacation to Australia and New Zealand as well as a cruise with friends to celebrate our 30th birthdays then trying to start a family. Clearly different plans for my future as life didn’t go as I planned. My plan was flawed and changed for a reason.

I do not know what to expect of 2018 and the year of my 30th birthday, but I do know I am ready to kiss 2017 goodbye!

Goodbye 2017 and Mrs. Fisher, hello again Cecee Emmons… time to be selfish!

XOXO,

Cecee