Uncomfortable

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Have you ever been so uncomfortable that you felt like your life was spiraling out of control? Well, that is how I have been feeling for a few months now and the impact is not good.

My reality check today was being told “stop being so negative, it is not a good look on you”. The comment honestly made me a little mad at first due to the billion things on my mind that has impacted me, but then I opened my eyes.

My move and experience has not gone as expected.  I have been faced with far more challenges than I could have ever anticipated. I have flipped my life upside down and basically ever aspect of my life has changed. I am very uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable is scary and hard, which has lead to far too many complaints and self doubt.

I realize I need to lift myself up, face challenges one day at a time and lean on my support system. My support system is the only aspect of my life that has not changed. Currently I have only been able to find comfort in my support system and daily devotions. I pray that I soon find comfort in my job and new environment.

My last post I mentioned my health goal this year is focusing on my mental health.  A big part of what I have been focusing on is self awareness along with reflection. Being self aware can be hard and having loved ones point out the truth to me has been a blessing.

Recognize the blessings in your life and embrace uncomfortable change. I know I am going through this for a reason, even though that reason is not clear yet.

Proverbs 3:5-6

XOXO,

Cecee

 

Thank you, Next …2018 recap

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2018 … I can go on about all the struggles and challenges you hit me with. Challenges that caused me to feel so broken, but I will just say Thank You, Next.

It’s ok to be broken and sometimes some of the pieces are so broken they will never be fully restored to what they once were. Now I can pick up all the pieces and rebuild into something new.

2018 also had some beautiful highlights that I’m very grateful.

In January, I turned 30 and celebrated in a big way with friends locally then off to Cali!

February was low key, so low key that I hardly have any photos from the month. I did enjoy a Valentines dinner with my friend Laura and Indy Taco week with Ben and Elizabeth.

March, I started back on track with counting Macros, played in the snow, joined friends in a St.Patrick’s Day pub crawl, and hosted my family for Easter.

April was my favorite month of travel! I went to a Stanley Cup playoff game, Austin, TX and Virginia. I spent a lot of time with friends.

April was also very scary as a lump was found on my breast during my annual exam. At 30 years old, I had to go in for a mammogram to determine if I had breast cancer. Thankfully, I am ok and must continue to monitor. I urge all to be diligent about their health.

In May, I traveled to Vegas for Kristi’s bachelorette party, met my friend’s little boy, enjoyed time around the pool and planted a garden.

June was Wine Fest, fishing for Father’s Day, and Indy Pride.

July I did a fun 4th of July photo shoot for a blog, hosted a brunch pool party, attended my cousin’s bridal shower, went on a girls trip to French Lick then onto Nashville,TN and the biggest challenge was when I backed a boat trailer and learned how to fish with an open face reel 😊.

August was a lot of working on the house as I decided I wanted to put it on the market in September. I played in my ladies golf league all summer along with an outing for work. Lots of pool days, a date night, kept grinding in the gym and cheered on Kevin as he and his partner won their division at CrossFit Summer Bash . I am beyond grateful for the time and help my family and Kevin provided in order to get the house ready. I basically was a regular at Lowe’s all month.

September was a whirlwind hosting my last Labor Day pool party at the house, listing the house, lake life, traveling for work meetings, MI vacation, Candlelight Tour, and cousin’s wedding.

September also began the next series of health issues and vet ER visits for Pippa.

October I accepted and offer on my house, said bye to my blonde locks, had a packing party and passed out candy on Halloween for the last time at my home on Wawasee Court.

In November, Pippa and I said our final goodbye to our home on Wawasee Court and moved in with a friend in Fishers. I then had more work travels and met Barbara Bush! I traveled back home for the Christmas tree lighting at West Baden Resort and Thanksgiving.

In December, Jessica and I decked the halls and hosted a cookie exchange, I made a Christmas card, I traveled to Austin to help Annie pack as well as celebrate her 30th, work trip to Nashville, Christmas celebrations and then a trip to Wilstem Guest Ranch.

2018, I thank you for the beautiful moments and the lessons.

Now 2019, I know you are full of growth potential, but please don’t be as stressful.

XOXO,

Cecee

Where the hell is the carousel?

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I feel like the last 2 years of my life I have been on a roller coaster and I’m desperately seeking a carousel.

It’s funny that I’m trying to find some consistency in life to cling to, but the only constant is change.

I have had a ton of change with divorce, selling my house , the ups and downs of dating, changes at work and several other challenges. Life keeps hitting me with more twist and turns.

I know that I would quickly be bored on a carousel of consistency in all aspects of life, but there are some areas I feel I need it. I’m realizing the carousel I need is knowing myself and what I can expect from how I treat myself and how I allow others to treat me.

Life is a roller coaster there is no way to predict the ups, downs, twist and turns in life. All you can do is buckle up, hold on and follow the track.

XOXO,

Cecee

Oh Cecilia 

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You’re breaking my heart you’re shaking my confidence daily…

Great song that I often hear and the words “shaking my confidence daily” stand out. I know what I’m about to discuss has nothing to do with what the song is actually about, but it’s so fitting.

This week we celebrated International Women’s Day. My social media was flooded with positive love for fellow women while my personal inbox was attacked. This had me reflect on all the times that by simply being me, I had shaken someone’s confidence.

In high school, there is always drama. For some, that dramatic mindset never goes away. Most of the high school drama is petty and based on feelings due to poor communication, disrespect and misguided finger pointing, or possibly hormones 🤷🏼‍♀️.

As we become adults we learn to respect others from differing backgrounds and mindsets creating the opportunity to grow and learn. Sadly some are not so accepting and you can easily shake their confidence.

Then there are times in your career when based on your age and tenure with a company “you are not supposed to have that position yet, you didn’t slowly move up the ranks”.

I am Cecilia. My own confidence has shaken the confidence of others, both male and female.

I often reflect on the experiences that have shaped me and the tough, negative experiences have made me strong, resilient and overly ambitious. Those tough moments and feelings I do not wish on anyone.

The moments of love, respect , compassion and support shaped me as well and frankly those moments are the most cherished.

Showing respect and compassion while someone is yelling at you and calling you horrible names is beyond difficult, and yes, sometimes I’ve failed and snapped back. Taking the high road can be a challenge, but will provide you more peace than fighting back. I have continuously learned you cannot rationalize with the irrational, no matter the effort you put in.

Having a positive mindset, staying calm in difficult situations and not letting someone shake your confidence is hard. Regardless of the situation you find yourself in, the only thing you can control is how you react.

Life is tough and everyone has their challenges, but showing respect and compassion can make a big difference. The difference may not be how the other person handles the situation, but may just provide peace for yourself knowing you were the bigger person.

XOXO,

Cecee