If you have been following along, you know one of my 2019 goals is to focus on my mental health. May is mental health awareness month and I have some insight to share. I have been more aware of my feelings and those around me and I want to break my silence.
Life is hard and impacts everyone in a different way. The financial burdens, lack of work-life balance, poor health of yourself or loved ones, the negative noise from others tearing you down, postpartum depression/anxiety, grief and internal battles are very real and all around you.
Above examples are just some of the impacts I have witnessed occur in my circle or endured myself. I know there are more challenges that others have faced and some so severe I could not imagine the pain.
My pain is internal and I am still learning how to adjust my mindset to accept myself and where I am in life.
I come from a strong support system full of love and I am beyond grateful for that. Sometimes your support system is not enough and you need outside help and that’s ok. I highly encourage seeking guidance either through a therapist and/ or minister. My sophomore year of college was the first time I went to see a therapist and really began my journey of understanding myself.
I currently feel like I am starting from scratch trying to rediscover myself. In reflection I have been so driven to hit timeline marks that I missed the point in checking off the boxes and still feel like a failure.
Unfortunately, there have been a couple points in my life where I have let others tear me down through their coercive control. Learning it is impossible to rationalize with an irrational person was an eye opener. That realization took me a long time to understand it was not a failure on my part. Making multiple efforts to try to meet the needs of someone who is projecting was wasted efforts.
Learning to love myself while battling the feeling that I’m unworthy of love, due to being a failure is a major challenge. I wish I could go back to the time in my life where I was fearless and always saw the positive. Getting back to that person is so hard after hearing so much negativity for so long.
I am currently aware of my negative self talk and I am struggling with how to turn it off. In my last post I shared how uncomfortable I am and it makes me feel like a failure. I’m trying to cheer myself on for the small victories and not focus on the set backs. The set backs are how I derail and staying in them causes me to crumble.
BE KIND to everyone, you do not know what they are battling.
Also any tips on blocking the negative self talk are appreciated!