Relationships are constantly changing and always require effort from both parties to last. Sometimes we are surprised in relationships we have invested so much time and energy in and they abruptly end. I’m not sure which is harder, having no closure as to what happened or having a full on fight, but from my experience the no closure is crushing.
Every relationship, I tend to pour my all as I really don’t know how to scale it back. I treat my friends like family and try to show them love as if they truly were a family member. I always try to be there for the fun and not so fun times. If I can’t be there physically and more than a call is needed a letter and care package soon follow. Caring for my friends and family provides so much happiness to me. The world is hard and if I can help them feel loved I made a positive impact.
As you can imagine my kindness can easily be taken advantage of and unfortunately the last couple of years I’ve noticed it more and more. Sadly a lot this year causing me to be in a big funk.
I do not consider myself a people pleaser as I only go above and beyond for those I truly care about. Sadly I am realizing that there are some I’ve cared about that do not have the same level of respect or concern for me.
My heart is breaking as I internalize this as a me issue when really I need to let go. In the grand scheme of things if someone no longer wants to be in my life why hold onto that person?! Focus should be on those who care about you. I am not sure if I am naive or just choosing to see the best in people, but I really thought those I let in also cared about me. Perhaps at one point they did?! The feeling of rejection and failure are real, but as a wise friend shared “this too shall pass”.
Now to pull myself out of this funk the following steps will be taken:
- Order this book per recommendation of my lovely friend Paige https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0062457713/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1503400063&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=the+subtle+art+of+not+giving+a+f—+mark+manson&dpPl=1&dpID=51VNlzbfpXL&ref=plSrch
- Accept that getting closure from people wanting to leave my life will not occur
- Focus on me and know the friends that matter will step up and be there
- Feed my soul – reflect and learn
Keep making yourself happy and try to make the world a better place with love!